Monday, June 24, 2013

If you can't say anything nice...

My Granny used to say things like, "If you can't say anything nice, Tara Ann, then it's better to say nothing at all" and "Pretty is as pretty does, if pretty don't do pretty, pretty ain't pretty".  Lately, I've decided that I need  to purge some things, behaviors and people in my life.  Today, I'm deciding that if it causes me more grief than happiness, more harm than good, more sadness than joy, that I don't need it.  Don't think I'm getting all crazy and am going to stop eating yummy fried food or drinking some cold "sodas" - that would defeat the purpose - those bring happiness - and empty calories.  I'm talking about things like - people who constantly hurt my feelings.  Relationships that are damaged beyond repair.  Clothes that make me feel fat.  Shoes that aren't that cute and rub blisters.  Material reminders of something in my past that wasn't happy or that make me feel bad.  Hello, American Kidney Fund? Yes, I'd like to schedule a pick up.  Trash men, I'll have an extra load this week.  I'm sick of my life being cluttered by things that are constant reminders of something I don't like, didn't like, won't ever like, won't ever make me feel good.  Spring cleaning the clutter of my mind, body, soul and physical almost July heat :).  Ha...we don't ever do things the easy way here!  I'm modifying the saying, "If you love something, set it free" to "If you don't love something, set yourself free".

Clearly, there have been things on my mind lately that I need to get rid of and let go.  I've been practicing every day reminding myself that if I can't change it, then I don't need to worry about it.  I think I am going to graffiti my office with that reminder :).  Life is too short, and my kids are too precious, and these moments are too fleeting.

I'm super positive tonight, yes?  I'll get over myself after a few bullets.  Rapid fire unloading.

  • Thanks for your parenting advice.  Especially, since I've met you like 5 times in my life and you've met my kids 3 times.  
  • Thank you, also, for treating me like a child.  The last time I checked, I'm almost 35 (WHOA NELLY - WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN??!!), have 3 children, 2 houses, a career, 2 cars and 2 dogs.  We manage to keep all of the balls in the air.  We are financially independent and make our own way.  If I need to be scolded like a pre-teen, I'll give you a call.
  • If you can't say anything nice, don't say it.  Everyone should listen to their Granny's words of wisdom. I mean, seriously.  Why criticize something as insignificant as dessert?  Just say, oh, this is nice, thank you.  It's rude to criticize  Unsolicited and nonconstructive criticism is just plain ugly.  Remember your Granny...pretty is as pretty does.
  • In the trenches of parenting, I'm not always graceful.  That doesn't mean that I'm a terrible parent or don't love my kids more than life itself.  
It's been a heck of a Monday.  Clearly, since I just unloaded on my blog where I normally only reserve space for unicorns and perfect days.  I want to make sure that if my kiddos ever read their Momma's musings, they don't have some rose colored glass effect of their childhood and then make themselves feel bad for losing their patience with their own children.  Parenting is hard.  Relationships are hard.  LIFE, my children, is not always easy.  But, that is what makes LIFE worth LIVING.  Go out there, be strong, be confident, don't be afraid to make tough decisions, choose happiness.  And, sometimes, when you have a less than Unicorn Monday, have a little gripe session on your blog, a glass of wine, some melatonin and call it a night.  After all, tomorrow is another day....and the sun always shines in the morning :).  


  1. We all needed that. Thank you for saying what we all feel, a lot of times!

  2. Unicorns are stupid and not my dear are just the opposite. Love you.