Wednesday, December 30, 2015

"Here's to no more babysitters!"

"Cheers!  Here's to no more babysitters!" That's what my youngest child said when I told her I'd finished my last project for work. 
For the first time in my audit life I'm unemployed with no immediate plans to find gainful employment.  It's scary and exhilarating and nerve racking and so unbelievably exciting all wrapped up into one big ball of emotions.
For the past 11 years I've worked for the same company...one that I've said more times than I can count that it would be where I retire.  I love a lot of the people that I've worked for and with over the years and I know that some of those relationships will endure (especially thanks to social media).  Others would endure regardless.  And, it absolutely hasn't been without mixed emotions that Rob and I decided that a change was due.  Did I cry when I said farewell more than once?  Oh, yes, my friend.  Countless tears.  But, have I cried countless tears watching my children play in the backyard with a sitter?  Oh, yes.  
I am so, so, so thankful that my kids have been able to stay at home with my mom or Rob's mom or a sitter these past almost 6 years.  They have relationships with their grandparents that can never be replaced.  Especially, we are thankful for all that my mom has sacrificed (and gained) by spending the night with us weekly for the past ~6 years to watch the children.  The kids are anxious already about when Nanna will be back to spend the night.  They also know how to adapt to adults that are not their grandparents or parents, and that's a great strength for children to have.
I'm thankful for the career I've had up until now.
But, you know what?  I'm so thankful for this opportunity to take a minute and "just" be a momma.  I'm so thankful that when I wake up on Monday and there's no school and the babies ask me, "who's babysitting us today?" That my answer will be "me!"  
For a minute in this life, Rob and I were faced questioning whether we'd ever be able to have children.  And, right this minute, I know I'm embarking on the hardest career move I've ever made and the pay is $0 and there's no 401k match, no employee stock plan, no FSA and no insurance.  The real pay is from the heart and THAT is PRICELESS. This is the career move that matters more than anything.