Tuesday, December 13, 2016

I tried to blog from my phone on my birthday, but, I'm 38 and I just don't do that kind of technology

HA!  I love my title. 

Honestly, I did try to blog from my phone on my birthday.  It's not because I'm 38 that the technology didn't work...it might've been the wine, more likely, it was that you can't really type a blog post from your phone.  I'll just leave that right there.

We have finally (KNOCK ON WOOD - QUICK) recovered from our illnesses that have plagued us since the week before Halloween.  If it wasn't strep or a cold or sinus infection...it was something else.  I've about had it with antibiotics and treatments.  I love LOVE LOVE our pediatrician, so, I could go see her everyday, just to convince myself that she is my friend...hahahaha.  No, seriously.  She's amazing.  Her friends are so lucky to have her. 

We have survived the major birthday season of our year (Nov. 15, 30, Dec 4 and 4 - Molly is our outlier in February (LUCKY GIRL!)).  We are about ready for Christmas.  School is out on Friday.  It's busy, busy around here.  It's wonderful.  The kids are so much more "in" to the holidays this year - helping decorate (albeit driving me crazy until I cave and let them put 37,000 ornaments in the same square foot of the tree), helping with making birthday goodie bags, helping stuff Christmas cards, label them, and stamp them.  It's definitely fun to see the magic through their eyes - the help is the cherry on top!

We went to Disney World over the Thanksgiving break - it was AMAZING and EXHAUSTING and EPCOT is not for our family - hahahah!!!  We also learned that Mommy and the kids cannot stay at Magic Kingdom until midnight and then go to Epcot the next morning.  Nope.  Maybe we will go when they are 21 and we can do the drink around the world thing.  It was not our finest day at Disney :(.  We did thoroughly enjoy Magic Kingdom (OF COURSE!), Animal Kingdom, and we all LOVED Hollywood Studios (well, except that one Star Tours ride that made me and Rob so motion sick we thought we'd puke for the next hour).









Here's to a very Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!  So very thankful that unto us a child was born!  God is so good.  May he bless you all.

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

we are still alive - we just haven't been blogging

Oh, lawd.  We have had some sick people the past week!  Honesty, they've been sick since mid-October, but, it's really come down the past week and a half or so.  
It's been a busy fall.  I went back to work mid-October.  The kids have been sick since about the same.  Thankfully, my work is part time and very flexible.  Regardless, we've had lots of fun times between sickness and health and working.  

Friday, August 26, 2016

The scariest day of m'life (and, a major catch up)

July 27,2016 will forever more bring me to my knees.  It started out normal...we had a plan - going to LuLu's and mommy had an appointment and then going to LuLu's pool.  It all started fine.  We were actually on time.  Winning!  My doctor's appointment didn't exactly go as planned, and, left me in a state of depression and some kind of terrible mood that I can't even put into words.  I'd been taken back to a time I'd *almost* forgotten.  A lifetime I'll never be able to leave behind because it will always be right there in the back of my brain.  My health is fine, but, my heart will always be tender.  Female issues seem to approve of my vessel.
Anyway, I finally left and went back to my sister's house, where she'd been manning the crew.  We quickly changed and went to the pool.  We arrived maybe 15 minutes before adult swim.  5 minutes into adult swim I heard this crying and knew that it belonged to me.  He came running towards me and I went running towards him (we were maybe 20 feet away from each other).  I didn't think it sounded quite normal, but, when Marlin told me that his hand hurt, I didn't imagine there was something actually wrong.  I took his hand in mine and pulled that long sleeve rash guard up to reveal this...
I immediately lost my mind and screamed for Brooke and Molly to come help.  We had all of this stuff and just the four of us to get it - clearly, Marlin wasn't carrying anything.  I carried him, sprinting to the car, the girls and other adults running behind me with yetis, pool bags, shoes, etc.  needless to say, we all lived, but it wasn't without a village that I survived that day.  I was able to rest easy knowing that my girls were safe and happy, witnessing that my boy was getting AMAZING care at Egleston, and that Rob was only a text or call away (even though I know both of our hearts were breaking that he wasn't home with us when it happened).  The silver lining of the day was that we were close to CHOA and that he didn't need surgery to set his arm, that we have amazing parents willing and able to drop everything to come help in a time of need, for friends who take your kids still soaking wet from the pool into their home and provide dry clothes (and panties!) until they have access to their own.  Our boy was so brave, his momma was a little less brave, but, maybe I didn't cry until no one was watching.  He's healing amazing and in a few short weeks we will have a skinny arm, no cast, and a very worried momma!!
Seriously, the update will have to happen another day!  Thank the Lord that his arm was a clean break.  Thank you to everyone who helped us through those terrifying hours and days.





Tuesday, May 3, 2016

It's May???

How has it been 4 full months of staying at home?  It has been so fun and so challenging and so QUICK!!!!  These people eat SO MUCH...and the dishes - oh, the dishes.  Oh, sweet Jesus, the dishes.  I had so much help when I was working - I didn't even realize.  Mom would always wash and fold the laundry and empty and load the dishwasher.  Sunny, sweet, sweet Sunny.  She taught my Molly patience and Jesus truths...and she vacuumed.  Oh, the sweet sound of that vacuum from the basement.  

I'm typing this from our little mini pad/laptop thing, that I don't even have pictures to upload.  

It's been a week.  A WEEK.  Not kids wise, but, people I love wise.

And, as summer approaches, I feel the anxiety of finding a job come September getting more and more real.  I feel like the past months have been an honest trial of full time parenting, learning how to be a stay at home Mom, learning how to be the household CEO, CFO and CIO and juggle three kids and ALL THE FEELS in the same 24 hours (or minutes) that they occur.  Not to mention, all of my feels....and PMS....and family drama...and neighborhood drama....and feeling like everyone in your bible study lives in the country club and you live in the county, but you love them just the same and hope they love you, too.  And, worrying about your first precious niece and the drama that apparently now accompanies 10 year olds.  Yall, I wonder how I ever worked and juggled anything else.

It's been so much fun.  (And, I can't figure out why this red squiggly line under all of my typing won't go away).  The house isn't sparkling (and, every time I mop it freaking monsoons), the toilets upstairs currently have rings in them -and also some turkey thing drying on the counter (Sorry, Nanna - that's in your bathroom).  I have the were-withal to actually think about where my kids are educationally and what we need to do to prepare for the next school year.   We actually have TIME to work on school in the afternoon - rather than rush into dinner and bath and bed.  It's all incredibily amazing, and challenging and wonderful at the same time.  

I'm no more graceful at this stage of parenting than I was before, but, I do have a profound appreciation of working parents - and what I gained and missed during those years.  Thankfully, I think my children gained more than I missed - but, it doesn't alleviate the guilt of my feelings of missing out.  Team Adkisson has been blessed - by Nanna, who selflessly gave almost six years of her Monday's and Tuesdays, of Annie, who always filled the gaps, of Sunny and Michelle and Melinda and the others who loved our babies like their own.  I'm so, so, so thankful for this time - and, daily, I remind myself what a gift this is.  And, when I lose my patience, I'm quick to bring myself back to reality.  They days are long....but, these years are short.  I'm thankful for these (sometimes long) days with my tribe - for I know they will not always love me so much that they want to marry me (Marlin) or never want to get married (Madeline) or want to marry Will but live in our backyard (Molly).  

The past few months, I have felt a draw to Jesus like I've never felt.  I don't know if I'm finally above water enough to hear the calling or if I'm finally making room for Him.  But, I do know, the Bible study group I joined in January, and have stuck with, even though I may not feel like I 100% belong, has been a crazy blessing in my life.  And, I've never prayed to Jesus like I've been able to talk to him in the past 4 months.  I hope that, even though the Devil works SUPER HARD in our house on Sunday's, that our kids grow up knowing how much Jesus loves them and how much their parents love Jesus.  

Have you ever felt that you are just where God wants you, even thought it's never where you'd have expected to be?  That's where I am now.  I love where I am...never believed God would have led our family to this situation.  Loving the moment where we are!

"Be still and know that I am God" Psalms 46:10

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

A month in review

Wow!!!  I can't believe a month has passed us so quickly.  If I'd anticipated being a SAHM (stay at home mom) the same as I pictured/spent my maternity leave, I was pretty sure I'd want to go back to work by now.  Who knew that kids who (mostly) sleep through the night would be so fun to be with during the day.  Yes, I know I have FOUR WHOLE hours alone everyday....you must be wondering what in the world I can possibly be doing with myself?!?!!!  Y'all, have you ever notice how quickly hours pass?  4 (3.5 if you're really counting carpool) hours pass by like the blink of an eye.  Which also explains why my children are more often late to bed this past month than early.  We do things like this in the evening....
Instead of me stressing about them needing to get to bed so that I can tackle household chores (or procrastinate those until tomorrow).

I had these visions of my floors being sparkly clean and my kitchen glowing and my toilets gleaming and basically everything sparkling like glitter in my home because of my whole 4 hours home alone daily.  However, life is so busy.  Between volunteering at the elementary school, bible study (how have I lived my life so long without this kind of love in my life?) trying to exercise regularly, cleaning house, and, occasionally taking a few moments for myself (like loving on my newborn twin neighbors), I honestly don't know how I kept the balls in the air before.  Don't get me wrong, it hasn't all been unicorns and rainbows...but, by golly there have been a lot of unicorns and a ton of rainbows and I've never been so happy in my life.  Y'all know how financially conscious I am and knowing that I need to cut back on our budget hasn't been a major stressor at all.  I'm thankful that I know the value of a dollar and that I know how to stretch a dollar.  I am fully aware that this is a season, and we won't be able to maintain a single income forever, but, I'm so so so so so thankful that I can spend these precious, precious moment with my babies while they still want their momma around. 
(Mad returned to ballet)
Visit to the zoo
Gym dawgs meet with our friend Claire
Staining the basement stairs with Pop
NYE with friends
This month has flown by and I feel like I've grown so much spiritually, parentally and as a wife, mother and friend.  I'm so thankful that I've been afforded this opportunity to take a minute with my people and just breathe and enjoy this life that we've been so graciously given by our Lord.  I'm still not a perfect parent, wife, daughter, sister or friend.  But, I do believe I have found a place in this world to actually nourish the people in my life and in my family.  So thankful and so blessed beyond belief.



Wednesday, December 30, 2015

"Here's to no more babysitters!"

"Cheers!  Here's to no more babysitters!" That's what my youngest child said when I told her I'd finished my last project for work. 
For the first time in my audit life I'm unemployed with no immediate plans to find gainful employment.  It's scary and exhilarating and nerve racking and so unbelievably exciting all wrapped up into one big ball of emotions.
For the past 11 years I've worked for the same company...one that I've said more times than I can count that it would be where I retire.  I love a lot of the people that I've worked for and with over the years and I know that some of those relationships will endure (especially thanks to social media).  Others would endure regardless.  And, it absolutely hasn't been without mixed emotions that Rob and I decided that a change was due.  Did I cry when I said farewell more than once?  Oh, yes, my friend.  Countless tears.  But, have I cried countless tears watching my children play in the backyard with a sitter?  Oh, yes.  
I am so, so, so thankful that my kids have been able to stay at home with my mom or Rob's mom or a sitter these past almost 6 years.  They have relationships with their grandparents that can never be replaced.  Especially, we are thankful for all that my mom has sacrificed (and gained) by spending the night with us weekly for the past ~6 years to watch the children.  The kids are anxious already about when Nanna will be back to spend the night.  They also know how to adapt to adults that are not their grandparents or parents, and that's a great strength for children to have.
I'm thankful for the career I've had up until now.
But, you know what?  I'm so thankful for this opportunity to take a minute and "just" be a momma.  I'm so thankful that when I wake up on Monday and there's no school and the babies ask me, "who's babysitting us today?" That my answer will be "me!"  
For a minute in this life, Rob and I were faced questioning whether we'd ever be able to have children.  And, right this minute, I know I'm embarking on the hardest career move I've ever made and the pay is $0 and there's no 401k match, no employee stock plan, no FSA and no insurance.  The real pay is from the heart and THAT is PRICELESS. This is the career move that matters more than anything.  

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

There but for the Grace of God...

Today started off just swimmingly.  (Is that even a word?).  Anyway, we got up late, cried because we got up late, missed the bus, cried because we missed the bus, cried because we didn't like our outfits, cried because our diaper leaked, cried because we didn't want to go to kindergarten, cried because the sky was blue, cried because the right cup wasn't clean.  You know, one of those smooth mornings where everything goes just right?  And, then, I get them all loaded in the car, all with tears and me almost in tears and...back into the garage door.  Oh, the cacophony of cries.  That's it.  Get out.  Get back in bed.  Start over.  The school will probably call family services on me for being tardy twice in a week, but, whatever.  But, you know what?  It's OK.  We are OK.  We made it to school and when we did, there were no tears.  And, I'm fine and they are fine and the garage is fine and the car is fine...and even if they weren't, they can be fixed.  We are the lucky ones.

This past weekend, a boy in a neighboring county played at his Senior homecoming football game and had a car accident on the way home.  And, you know what?  That's not OK.  His momma can no longer hold him and make things better.  He is fine in the arms of Jesus, but, what is left behind is not OK.  He has a momma and a daddy and a brother, and aunts and uncles and cousins, and friends and maybe grandparents.  And, they aren't OK.  And, their lives will never be the same because they can no longer hug him, or play ball with him, or hold him in their arms and whisper in his ear how much they love him.  By the grace of God, his family will find some kind of new normal, but, nothing will ever be the same.

This young man's untimely death has shaken me to the core.  I can't get him out of my mind.  And, moreover, I can't get his mom out of my mind.  I can't imagine facing a day like she has faced each morning since Saturday.  I can't imagine answering that door and receiving the news she got Saturday morning.  I just can't imagine.

In high school, we, too, lost a friend.  A sweet, sweet girl, who loved life and had this contagious smile.  She left a mark on all of us that we will never forget.  I hope her momma knows that none of us have ever forgotten her....and never will.

I want to scream and ask God why these things can happen.  We will never know until we meet again in Heaven, and, gosh, that's a hard truth to live with some days.  In the meantime, I pray for the friends and families of these sweet lives taken way too early from this earth.  And, selfishly, I pray that there but for the Grace of God go I.  Please Lord, keep our babies safe.  Keep them from harm's reach.  Please, Lord, help this sweet family that is going through so much pain and suffering.  Keep them wrapped in your arms, forever and ever.  Amen.

Thank you, Lord, for keeping me in check, and teaching me that everything is just fine, even through the tears and mistakes we make.  I woke up this morning to healthy children.  Thank you, God, for showing me grace, yet again today, by allowing me to see the sunrise and hold my babies.  Amen.