Thursday, November 8, 2012

When a title just won't come to mind...

I've been running a little ragged lately.  As in, it's 9:15 and I really need to be working because I had to take a nap from 4:30 to 5:30 in order to face the rest of my evening, thus, am behind on a deadline.  Moving has been such a blessing....we are sooo much closer to both sets of our parents, Molly had FLOURISHED at school, the twins are wonderful, Athens rocks, we just feel like we are home.  However...(there's always a but, isn't there?)...having a new house is's a blank slate.  There is a basement that needs to be finished (momma needs somewhere to work), there are 50 million walls that are the same color (ever met me?  do you think I can live with every wall being the same color??), pictures need to be hung, Thanksgiving shirts need to be made, the list goes on.  You know, these things really are important...(dripping with sarcasm).  However, they are important to me.  I am feeling overwhelmed, stressed, frankly...a bit blue.  I need to snap out of it.  Someone slap me.  Tell me to get over myself.

In other news, my babies are 11 MONTHS OLD.  SHUT.THE.FRONT.DOOR.  How did that happen?  I honestly, can hardly remember life before them.  Life before Molly is such a distant, faint memory that some days I wonder if there ever really was life before we had kids?    I frequently remember an Easter Egg hunt I took Molly to during the season of her 2nd Easter.  I was very early pregnant...I don't even know if we knew it was twins yet...and she was so bald...and walking but, the kind of walking where a new parent chases after them and worries about their every step.  And she looked so cute in her jeans (that were Emma's once upon a time) and white shirt (from Melissa Sibold...funny how you remember who gave your kid what clothes) and hot pink hair bow - on a head band because like I said...chick was bald (hairbow from Aunt Lori and Uncle Marlin).  I don't know why that day stands out so much for me.  But, I remember walking home with my girl and our friends (Flo and Jojo) and Flo telling me that I was too thin for the maternity jeans I was trying to hold up.  I guess it's one of those memories that keeps coming back because I knew it was the last Easter with just one baby...and that by the next Easter we'd have another of God's miracles in our midst.  Madeline wore those jeans last week.  How did my baby get big enough to wear her sister's jeans?  (Yes, Emma, Molly and Brooke have worn them before her...they are GAP...and still look new :)).  It kind of makes my uterus hurt it feels so empty.  PS...we did IVF with the twins when Molly was 13 months.  DON'T FREAK OUT GRANDMAS....Rob is adamant that we are finished.  I'm certain that we are done...for now.  But, in my blue moments the past few weeks...I desperately have missed the big belly and knowing that I have a PERSON who's life LITERALLY depends on me.  Feeling that baby kick and knowing that it's all mine...err...ours.  But, really, when you are pregnant, no one on this earth can know that baby as intimately as you can.  You don't have to share that baby.  That baby goes EVERYWHERE with you.  For the record...I suck at being pregnant.  I grow amazing babies that are super healthy (knock on wood should I ever grow another one).  But, I suck at everything else in life while I'm pregnant.  I don't cook...I don't clean...I'm a total bitch.  You think I have a low mind to mouth filter now?  Ha.  Talk to me when I'm 6 months pregnant.

Today, due to a mis-communication, Molly wasn't picked up from school.  They called me at 12:25.  School ends at 12:00.  I thought Rob was getting her...he thought I was.  It's just one of those things.  It happens to the best of us, I assume.  I drove an average speed of 75 mph to get her.  The average speed limit is about 45 on the way to her school.  I probably would have been arrested if I had gotten pulled over.  I was totally PANICKING that my sweet girl would be upset and think she had been forgotten.  Rob called and was on his way, too.  Mama Bear that I am, I told him ABSOLUTELY DO NOT leave that school with her.  I would be there and I wanted her.  Needless to say, Molly was thrilled to have gotten to go to "Lunch Bunch" and play with her buddies for an extra 45 minutes.  I was devastated.  Not because she was fine...but, because what if she hadn't have been fine?  What if she'd been old enough to realize that she had been picked up late because of a mis-communication?  What if there hadn't been a lunch bunch?

I'm a freak about who keeps my kids.  I like to know every.single.detail.  I like to be over-communicated to about my children's day.  When they sleep and what times, what they eat, how much they poop, how much they cry and about what, which toys they prefer, what songs they like.  Even though I KNOW that I need my time at work (I don't think I'm cut out to stay at home full time) and they need their time learning about other people, I would prefer to be a fly on the wall 24/7.

This post is really just my rant for today.  It was a sucky day, that ended with all of my chickens asleep in my basket with a happy face.  Some days are just like that, I guess.  In true Scarlet fashion, tomorrow is another day.  Thank God.

1 comment:

  1. GIrl- you are amazing. And more power to you for being a crazy mama bear. P.S. so jealous that you live in Athens. Even if your walls ARE all the same color!! (p.s. I just had my whole house painted the exact same shade of egg shell. Can we still be friends? :)