Thursday, December 1, 2011

37 Weeks

It's less than 1 week until the babies arrive.  I  Three years ago, I vowed to myself that if we ever only had one child, that child would be enough.  And, if that were our destiny, Molly is certainly enough.  That girl has given me more joy and taught me more about love in her 21 (almost 22!!) months of life that I learned in the 31 years before her.

Today is my last day of work before the twins arrive.  I'm emotional.  I'm actually kind of a wreck.  Granted, I have nothing work related to handle, so, I'm sitting here at my laptop and my Mac and just thinking about what life will be like in one week.

I remember the weekend after our transfer with the twins.  We were at the lake house with Rob's mom and brother.  My pregnancy tests were not positive...and I was a mess.  I was pissed off.  I was livid.  We had our transfer with Molly on a Monday and the test was positive on Friday.  With the babies, our transfer was Tuesday and on Saturday there was still only 1 line.  No one knew about our transfer except Mom and Mandie.  We went on a boat ride that Saturday afternoon...and as I held my girl and fought back tears, I prayed for His peace and for His reminder that I've said a million times that Molly is more than I could have ever asked for...and that she was all we'd need.  Sunday morning there were 2 lines.  I honestly felt that once I accepted and believed in His peace that my babies decided to stick.  Scientifically, I know that is impossible.  But, I also know that nothing in this life is impossible...because I have this...

We went to the doctor yesterday, Rob's birthday, because I have been having contractions.  I cried when my doctor said he's advise us to wait for our scheduled C-Section.  I know that's the best for our babies...and I know I can survive the 6-ish days until then.  I'm tired...and I'm ready to be able to chase my girl again.  I also cried because on the way to the doctor and the whole time we were there, I was all sweaty armpit terrified.  What in the world are we going to do with THREE babies?  I know we will figure it out.  I know that God only gives you what you can handle.  I know that these babies will fill our lives with as much love as Molly has and that we will not remember life before them once they are here. I know that our new normal will be the chaos I've always craved of a house full of little feet and sweet giggles and messy kisses.  I also know that we'll endure the tantrums of the terrible two's - 3 times over - the years of teenager hell and the sadness/celebration of an empty nest one day.  This is what I've dreamed of...and what I've always hoped my life would be.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord.  "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11


  1. You can do it, Tara. I know how you feel right now, well not the twin thing but having three under your roof to care for and love and want them to receive the best love possible. God will take care of things and in the mean time you will empty your dishwasher five million times over and have so much laundry you can jump into the pile. :) The newborn stage will be fleeting so just try to soak it up. Cry when you need to cry and laugh even more. You got your babies and it will be hard at times. Just take it one day at a time! I am just so thrilled you made it as long as you did! Can't wait to see those precious faces!

  2. I know how you feel, how will you do it with 3 to care for? I'm having my second in April (hopefully) and my first will be one on the 10th, next Saturday and I wonder how we will do it. But I know it will happen. I wish you the best and that you get to enjoy Molly for the 6ish days all by yourselves before the babies arrive. Good luck and congrats.

  3. So proud of you Tara for making it this far in your pregnancy! Praying for those two babies to be healthy and strong.

  4. I am so happy for you Tara. I know that you have longed for this day and now that it is here enjoy every single minute of it. Don't sweat the small stuff. The house will eventually get 18 years! lol Enjoy those sweet babies and little Miss Molly Moo!