What a difference a year makes...

One year ago today...

Today...

I'm speechless...and totally in love.

A Year Ago Today

As many of you know...or maybe don't know...Molly is our IVF miracle. She's the answer to many, many prayers and our personal slice of heaven. Every baby is a miracle...ours just took a while in the making.

This morning (5AM) as I was nursing her, I realized that a year ago today was our egg retrieval that resulted in our pregnancy with her. Today's June 1st is quite different from the June 1st of 2009. I am actually more emotional about it as we hit the 1 year mark of our conception and the long awaited 2 pink lines. What a difference a year can make...


A year ago my blog post read:

I have a funny feeling...and I think it's Hope creeping back in. I thought she'd long since abandoned me...given that I haven't seen a glimpse of her in what feels like months. But, I think she may be slowly trying to edge back into my life. I must admit, I would prefer to keep her at bay and protect my damaged-enough-already heart...

So far, we've had decent, dare I say good, fertilization reports. I'm starting to *hope* that we will maybe have 1 or 2 to freeze.Its been strange not talking incessantly about this cycle with my friends. However, its been a nice break for my heart. I've just been coasting through, kind of in denial that its even been happening. I sit here now, on pins and needles (and a heating pad), waiting for more news. *Hoping* that month 30 of this journey, in my 30th year, will bring us the miracle we've been hoping for all along.

My favorite moments with Molly are those like this morning...where we are together in the quite of the hours before dawn, just the 2 of us. My heart melts when she puts her tiny hand on my breast as she nurses. She'll sometimes look up at me - mouth full - and smile while nursing. It's those moments that make the journey through infertility seem so far away and ease the pain that consumed those years.

Babies don't keep

My Mom has had this poem hanging somewhere in our house my entire life...I finally relate to it 100%...

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow,

for babies grow up we've learned to our sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs and dust go to sleep,

for I'm rocking my baby...

and babies don't keep.

My baby is wearing size 1 diapers to sleep in tonight! They grow up too fast...(and that's why my house is a mess :))