Cousins!!!

We had all three girls at Mom and Dad's this weekend.  They are so fun!!!

Amazed...

Periodically throughout the day, it will hit me that in 7 - 11 weeks, we will be a family of five.  FIVE.  A whole hand full of fingers.  An entire lineup of a basketball team.  1 short of a half dozen.  F.I.V.E.  WOW.  It amazes me.  I remember, one very sad Christmas, I promised myself that my house would never be quiet if I could help it.  That I wanted to fill my home and life with the sound of little feet and laughter and love.  A few years ago, it seemed that my promise to myself and prayer for my life would never come to fruition.  As I look at my little slice of heaven...or get annoyed when she doens't want to go to bed...or feel sad when she has a cold...I'm in constant amazement that God allowed US the privilege of this sweet girl to be the center of our lives.  I almost cannot even believe that He is trusting us with TWO MORE of these miracles.

I was looking through my old blog today for pictures of Molly's room...I thought I had posted on her nursery before, but I couldn't find it.  I'll have to do a show and tell of both nurseries once the babies nursery is complete.  What I did find was a post from December 2009, just two short months before our little miracle entered this world.

While I am so very impatiently waiting on this perfect little being to enter our life, my good friend is waiting on her first beta after her first IVF. I tried to convince her to make them see her today...but she goes in tomorrow morning. For the most part, I've been successful in blocking out the most miserable of the 2 week waits, but her wait has felt more like my own than I imagined possible. I pray for her and for this to be the only IVF cycle she ever suffers through.

I was searching through some old emails today and stumbled across an email from my first IVF of 2009. I wrote:

Dr K just called us. Our beta came back at 9.1. Apparently, it is only a positive pregnancy test if you level is 10 or higher. I have to go back in on Thursday for another beta test. He said even if it does rise, he will not be comfortable for a while that it will last. He was not encouraging that this will result in a healthy pregnancy or baby.

At this point, w e are devastated and praying for a miracle.

It makes me cry reading it now. It amazes me how far we've traveled in 3 and a half years. Notice I don't say "how far we've come" - it doesn't seem like we actually went anywhere, but took a huge detour that did finally take us to the next step of our lives that we'd been seeking. Instead of going directly straight to that next step, I feel our path was more of a U shaped street that we somehow got lost on and finally made it back to the original road we intended to be on the whole time...only about 1 footstep ahead of where we were detoured to begin with.

I remember all too well the days of waiting on that beta - the number that I'd hear when they called - to tell me if we were moving forward or standing still.  There are no words to express the amount of pure joy that fills my heart about my three babies.  The sleepless nights, the all too quickly approaching terrible two's, the thought of 3 teenagers and three young adults in college at once, the stress, the frantic thoughts of what could be (insert any emotion here).  Motherhood is more than I could have ever dreamed of...it's the most challenging and rewarding journey I've ever experienced. 

Amazed...and blessed beyond belief.  You three babies were worth the wait.  Mommy loves you.

26 Weeks

Pregnancy Highlights: 

How Far Along: 26 Weeks

Size of baby: Two weeks ago at the DR they were both weighing in at a pound and a half.  Baby Center says they weigh about a pound and two thirds each and are about 14 inches from head to toe.  All I know is that this belly is getting quite large and that by the end of the day, Momma is pretty uncomfortable.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: more than 15 lbs...but I don't weigh at home.  So, at my next DR visit, I'll have an accurate answer.  I'd guess about 17 lbs to date.

Maternity Clothes: Do other clothes even exist anymore?

Gender: It's a GIRL AND A BOY!!!

Movement: They are totally practicing their gymnastics in there!  All day long...they are active little buggers.

Sleep: I could sleep ALL.DAY.LONG.  I'm still sleeping pretty decent at night, too.  I just really love a nap every day.

What I miss: Gonna just have to have a standard answer here of cold beer or "soda" as we call it in our family.  Fall, football, a patio and a big, cold mug of soda sounds about perfect.

Cravings: SUGAR...Anything sweet.  I'd really love a Heath candy bar but haven't had any luck finding them at the store.  Or, the Russell Stover chocolate covered toffee...ahh....

Symptoms: Sinuses...same as with Molly.  I have chronic sinus issues when pregnant.  My back is killing me.  I can sit for about an hour for work and then I have to walk around the house for about 5 minutes or sit in the recliner with the laptop in my lap.  It's pretty uncomfortable.  And, it's always my right side, mid back.  The chiropractor could possibly help, but he has so many opinions about vaccines and all, that I just don't have the patience for him.

Best Moment this week: My girl got up at 6:45 Tuesday morning.  We are typically a 7 - 7:30 house.  Mommy would love to be an 8:00 house.  But, we are cutting those "i" teeth and sleep hasn't been fabulous this week.  So, we got up at 6:45 and we were watching "tootles" AKA Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  I was laying on the sofa and she was sitting at the top of my belly next to me.  Out of nowhere, she leaned over, took her sassy (aka paci) out of her mouth and gave me this super sweet all puckered up kiss.  Melt.My.Heart.  That girl...ah...she is so sweet.

24 weeks

Pregnancy Highlights: 

How Far Along: 24 Weeks

Size of baby: They are both currently weighing in about a pound and a half.  He measured 1 lb 8 oz and she measured 1 lb 7 oz this past Wednesday.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 15 LBS (Yes - that's more than I gained with Molly.  I'm sporting a 9 month Molly belly these days...)

Maternity Clothes: Yes, please!

Gender: It's a GIRL AND A BOY!!!

Movement: They are totally practicing their gymnastics in there!  Especially, around 10PM.

Sleep: I could sleep ALL.DAY.LONG.  I'm still sleeping pretty decent at night, too.  I just really love a nap every day.

What I miss: Being able to paint my own toes.

Cravings: Flavor Ice Popsicles!!  And, Reese's Pieces.  I'd also LOVE some UNO Pizza...but, I don't think a trip to Chicago is in my near future.

Symptoms: Sinuses...same as with Molly.  I have chronic sinus issues when pregnant.  Not too bad so far.  My back is definitely realizing that we are pregnant with twins.  Both babies are breach - with their heads basically where my ribs meet...breathing is getting tough :)

Best Moment this week: Pedicure on Friday night.


Molly has been sick this week, which is not normal for us.  Poor baby girl, she's so puny.  I hope she will be feeling better in the morning, else, we will go back to the Dr.

so nerdy...

Fudgesicle anyone?

Three cheers for sunglasses and snack time!!

Blessed Beyond Belief

I've been thinking lately, that these poor babies are really not getting a lot of blog time!  Things are so crazy here with work, Rob working 6 days a week (BOO!), Molly, the ever busy body...just trying to keep up exhausts me. 

In another life, I had another blog about our struggles with trying to conceive.  It was my bible for many moons...a source of therapy unlike any other I've ever received...and a true comfort in a time of great need during our marriage and lives.  I blogged religiously and each comment was a stitch to heal my wounded soul.  This blog, which soon needs a new title, is more of a diary and keepsake for my children when they are older and can appreciate their mother's perspective and memories.  Maybe this will be something they cherish when I am no longer here to talk to them.  Who knows...they may just think I'm cheesey and toss it to the side.  Either way, I enjoy cataloguing my sweet girl's milestones here, and the good Lord knows I haven't written a sentence in her baby book.  *Must do that before the twins arrive.*

Anyway, I digress.  During my pregnancy with Molly, I basically blogged about my pregnancy the whole time, without really blogging about anything else.  I'm sure it was very boring for others to read...but, being pregnant with Molly consumed my life.  This pregnancy, poor 2nd and 3rd children, can't consume my life...because I have this 18 month old ball of energy who has absolutely no clue what is going to happen in say, oh, about 4 months.  I kind of feel like I looked up one day and here we are - with this big belly (I can no longer see my feet) and these gymnasts doing back tucks in my belly.  So, right now, I want to document only information about this pregnancy.  You know, because I'm a 2nd child and I was oh so neglected, that I don't want these guys to feel that way. ;)  (Mom - I hope you can hear the sarcasm there...)

• Morning sickness - Yes, please.  This time, I took zofran pretty regularly the first 12 weeks.  It didn't totally help, but, it definitely helped a little. 
• At 22 weeks, my stomach still turns at raw meat.  We eat out a lot these days.  (However, I cooked a full meal tonight AND was able to eat it!  GO ME!)
• Movement - ABSOLUTELY!  I've been feeling them move since about week 11.  Although, textbooks say I couldn't feel them until week 13.  Rob has just felt them this week - little peanuts are getting strong!
• Cravings - SWEETS, just like with Molly.  I could eat an entire cheesecake.  Well, not really, because I get full really fast...but, it sure sounds yummy.  Also, I'm addicted to Flavor Ice popsicles.  ADDICTED, I tell ya.
• Weight gain - I've gained 10 pounds as of 2 weeks ago...probably another 2 or 3 since then.  I gained 13 total with the Moo Bear. 
• Today, at 22 weeks and 1 day, I honestly think I am as big now as I was with Molly the day I delivered.  NOT.KIDDING.
• These precious babies were transferred on 4/4/11 as blastocysts (IVFers will know what I'm talking about).  Molly was transferred on 6/6/09.  Kind of strange that they were both transferred on dates with the same first 2 numbers.  That sounds weird, but you know what I mean.  Molly, as an embryo, was also a blast.
• Our official 40 week due date is 12/20/11.
• I have finally ordered cribs!  YAY!  They are ready to be picked up when I want to go get them.  This means going by myself, because I'll have to fold up the seats in the middle row of the Tahoe to get them loaded. 
• I am buying material tomorrow for their nursery...Mom is going to help me make bed skirts, pillows, drapes, etc.  I'm not doing bumpers for the little ones.  Gender neutral nurseries are DIFFICULT to decorate.  I'll post pictures when (if) it's finished.  At 28 weeks, Molly's nursery was already painted and Rob was working on the chair rail.  Again, poor 2nd/3rd children - ha.
• I think my OB is really pleased with my lack of neuroses this pregnancy.  I would go in with LISTS of questions when I was expecting with Molly.  This time, I just rattle a few randoms off the top of my head. 
• We have names picked out, but aren't telling.  They are mostly family names, but not all 4 of the names are family related.  I'd like to think of a sweet way to tell the people who they will be named after.  At the moment, I'm at a loss.
• I am exhausted, all day, every day.  This is either due to the fact that I am sustaining not only my life, but that of 2 others...OR...that I have a child who never sits down except to sleep :).  And, I wouldn't trade that butterbean for the world. 
• I'm already trying to break myself of the habit of calling them "the twins".  They need their own identity.
• People ask you funny things when you are having twins...some of the questions I've gotten are:
• Are you going to dress them alike all the time?  I love that.  (The answer is no - they need their own identities...and, a boy cannot wear dresses.)
• Are they identical? (Sure...except he has a penis and she does not.  Sure, except he has an X and a Y chromosome and she has 2 Xs.  Absolutely.  Pretty much, I'm mean about this one, but, I'm pretty moody pregnant and have a very low tolerance for just about anything or anyone.)
• Jeez...so, you are done now, right?  (Unless the good Lord decides we're not.  We are, however, 99% sure we are finished with the IVF route of having babies - for inquiring minds.)
• Are you having your tubes tied after this?  (um...no.  These three cost us about $30K in CASH - excluding what insurance paid.  If we get a free one, we'll take it!).
• Why aren't you bigger yet?  (I don't know... I eat all the time.)
• Are you sure you are eating enough? (Uh...I eat ALL.THE.TIME.  Don't believe me, ask my husband.)
• Oh.my.gah...are they natural?  (As opposed to...?  Aliens?  Yes, my children are natural...they may have been fertilized in a petri dish, but, they are not sent off to grow in an alien spaceship for 40 weeks.)
• Ooh...If it's 2 girls/boys I'll take one.  (Uh, thanks.  But, we thought we'd keep them both.)
• Oh my gah - are you totally freaking out?  I would be.  (Well, not really.  The logistics are kind of hard to figure out, but, I'm sure we can handle it.  I mean, the most important thing for children is for them to know they are safe and loved.  We have that covered, for sure!)

People are funny.  Most days, I have a good sense of humor about things people say.  Some days, it annoys me.  People mean well, I just think (myself included) that most of the time things come out of our mouths that never bothered to pass through our brain.  (Like when someone told me recently that I better get moving my butt because I was getting big...Yeah...thanks for that.  I'll just go on a starvation diet....because this huge belly is just a beer gut :)).  I PROMISE I'm not trying to be smart, I just have an attitude pregnant...and it's pretty sarcastic...and I do love my friends and family...and occasionally, the random stranger who asks me some jacked up question about my babies.

The one thing I can say about this pregnancy, no matter my freak out the morning after we found out it was twins, my complaining about morning sickness, tiredness, my worry that we had tried too soon and thus, robbed Molly of her only time in life where it would just be the three of us (which is RIDICULOUS...well, all of those things above are!), we are truly, amazingly, Blessed Beyond Belief.  I love using that phrase...to me, it has three letters and we have three babies...we have three years of expecting Molly, our year as just the three of us, and now we have this third year..where we are expecting these latest miracles God has given us.  So, my sarcasm aside, I absolutely, 100%, with all of my heart, believe that we are where we are meant to be and am happier than I have ever been. 

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

Who, really, can not see the hand of God in this?


Baby Girl is on top facing down, Baby Boy is facing up looking at her feet.

Oh, and, I know...I totally wrote about all three of them, not just the babies.  Did you really think I could write about the twins without writing about the Molly Moo, too?!