8 days shy of 22 months...

That's how old Molly was the day we had the twins.  That is also how old the twins are today.  It's crazy talk that my babies are almost 2.  It's also crazy talk that we thought Molly was so grown back then.  In my mind, she was speaking in sentences and totally a big girl.  I have video and pictures to prove myself wrong.  My friends Flo and Marie Claude kept Molly that night we had the twins and sent us this video Sunday morning when the twins were just hours old...

  

I plan to take pictures tonight of the babies for a full on comparison.  I know this...Madeline and Marlin have a LOT more hair than Molly did :).  It's a weird feeling for me that they are the same age as Molly was at the time of their birth.  I cannot imagine bringing a baby home to these three today...I do know that.  I actually think Madeline would have the hardest time with it.  She isn't super clingy, but, when she wants her momma...girl wants her momma.

Here are some things I want to make sure I get down on "paper" before I forget them...

• Molly says some funny stuff and I don't want anyone to correct her...I'm sure she won't go to college with funny grammar...Here are some examples:
• "My head-fore hurts"...please no one tell her it's her forehead :)
• "Mommy, the sassy fairy took our sassies and we never not see them again!"  (While shaking her hands back and forth - ha!)  Never not.. I love it.  She also tells me sometimes to "Don't never not do that again!"  Bossy little thing :)  I'm sure she doesn't get that from me.
• She recently told her teachers that Rob and I were getting married...good thing we did that almost 10 years ago :).  We were actually going to the PGA tournament.  Which, by the way, was super awesome.  We had these sweet tickets from on of Rob's big clients and were wined and dined while watching the top 30 golf players in the world.  Hollywood, I tell ya :).
• On the same day she told people we were getting married, she also mistook her teacher's husband for the teacher's Daddy.  The entire school got a laugh out of that one.
• Marlin is talking all the time.  ALL THE TIME! It's so sweet and funny. He's putting together 3 and 4 words at a time.  Last night, I told him to tell Buffett (our dog) good night and he said, "Night-Night, dog" - it was super sweet.  He also likes to make his mouth a really defined O shape when he says "NO" and "GO".  He re-named Rob's mom from Annie to Ni-Ni....we will see what sticks, I guess!  
• Madeline probably says the fewest words right now, but, she doesn't have to talk...she can hardly get a word in edgewise!  She is OBSESSED with a bear pillow pet and she calls him "Burr" and he MUST go everywhere with us.  We did have to have a come to Jesus about taking him to school and she finally agreed that Burr could stay in the car those 6 hours a week.  Her first two word sentence was "Hey Nanny" one Tuesday morning when Mom came downstairs.  Melted Nanny's heart.  Don't let the Mighty Pixie fool you, though.  She CAN talk...she just chooses her words wisely, I guess :).  Maybe she will have a better mind to mouth filter than her Mom ;).
• Everyone is in school 9 - 12 - the twins twice a week and Molly 5 days.  They LOVE it.  LOVE.
• Rob taught the babies to "power" point - and it's HYSTERICAL!  I want to get it on video.  You can almost see the energy coming out of those fingers when they point with such force.  They are funny.
• Marlin has tee-tee'd in the urinal twice at the pool.  Seriously.  Rob held him up there and he peed.  Maybe he will be easy to potty train?  Mad has used the potty once.  They both LOVE to wear panties/underwear over their diapers.  Mom bought Marlin his first pairs of underwear.  It kind of broke my heart.  I can say it will be easier when we no longer have diapers, but, I can also say that I know it will make me a little bit sad when my babies are "big" kids.  I mean, come on...after three, you wouldn't really notice another baby, would you? ;)
• Madeline wants to do EVERYTHING that Molly does.  It's so sweet and at the same time kind of difficult.  We just do everything in triplicate these days.  Seriously.  Don't bring a gift unless you bring three identical ones...just kidding, not really :).  I had a talk with Santa and he's bringing three of a lot of things.  For me, it's just not worth the battle.  
• OH!  MAJOR!  The "Sassy Fairy" came this weekend.  Sassy = pacifier.  Madeline is the only one who never cared about them, but, that is also because she sucks her thumb.  Marlin was just getting CRAZY about it and calling it a YAA (say BAA like a sheep but with a Y) and basically having to have it 24/7.  Molly was only allowed her's in the bed, but, with Marlin having one all the time, it was making it quite difficult.  Saturday after nap, Marlin was just OBNOXIOUS about it and we decided that we'd had enough.  The Sassy Fairy came right then.  It was not too terrible at night for Marlin, but the first two mornings were not pleasant.  Molly did fine until last night and had a little melt down about it.  She was just soooo tired.  Once we got to bed, she was asleep within about 2 minutes and slept all night.  I think it's safe to say that if they find one that we missed, err...I mean the Sassy Fairy forgot...that we are gonna have a total meltdown, but, each day it's getting easier.  Let's face it - Molly only had hers because she was a baby when they were born and I was NOT taking it from her then.  And, honestly, we just haven't been ready to face the tantrums we thought would happen (read that we as 99.9% me - Rob has been ready to take them).  It's a milestone...and the Sassy Fairy is supposed to deliver a big prize tonight for Molly being such a big girl about it.  I hope she pulls through for us ;).

Father time, please feel free to slow down any day now.  

A post 2-ish years in the making...

This isn't some earth-shattering, tear jerking post.  Just something nerdy that I've kept saying I was going to document.  If you know me well, you know that I'm kind of an organization freak that is a total mess.  As in, I LOVE to organize things, but, I'm not the best at actually putting things where they belong on a daily basis.  Yes, it's totally counter-productive, I know.  So, almost TWO years ago...I was on maternity leave with the babies - all of them :).  Because, let's be honest...Molly was still a baby (still is)...looking back, I want to smack myself.  I thought she was so grown.  I hope I relished in her baby-dom like I have tried to relish in the twins.  I digress...

Anyway, so, one fine January day in 2012, I embarked on cleaning and organizing our pantry and cabinets.  Molly did this:

This was her first experience with the stamps that Aunt Kelly and Uncle Jeff gave her for her upcoming birthday.  I wasn't thrilled with the results...but, hey, I'd just let a 23 month old go CrAzY with stamps for almost two hours.  It was blissful...albeit messy.

 So, Molly stamped...and I did this...notice all of our food being stacked on the counter...

 The babies did this...BE STILL MY HEART...look how tiny they were!!

 Molly continued her masterpieces...

 Marlin chilled in the swing...check out those skinny legs!!!

 And, we ended up with these beautifully cleaned and organized storage areas!

 Fast forward almost two years.  We live in a new house, our kids look like this:

And, our pantry has looked like this for a year...

After one trip to the Container Store (with my girl, Emma...where we both got high on organizing ideas)....our pantry looked like this...

And, thanks to Amazon Prime, less than one week later, our pantry is this glorious disaster with shelves...that pull out for total convenience. 

This pantry could still go a long way with some serious Tupperware, but, oh, my...it's a gazillion times easier to find things now...and it just makes me smile when I open those doors (who are kiddie proofed with a pony tail holder :)).  That's right, people...I'm a complete nerd.  If you want any help organizing...you now know who to call :).

Panties...err...underwear

Marlin and Madeline have been obsessed with wearing panties over their diapers...when Pop saw this:

He sent Nanna to the store.  Now we have this:

And he's very proud of himself (Marlin, that is).  Ha!  

And, yes.  Marlin had his third haircut yesterday.  It's a little short for me, he looks too grown up.  He is so awesome sitting there, though!  She even used the clippers - I panicked and Marlin sat there cool as a cucumber.  My babies are growing up too fast.

Getting so Grown...

Alas, my babies are growing up too fast.  Everyone says that...and until you are a parent you think it's something cheesey that people who are getting old say.  And, then, BAM!  It's you that's getting old and it's your children who are racing through their days and growing right before your eyes.  Yowza.  I  remember my grandparents saying they wanted to put a brick on our heads to keep up from growing so quickly.  Granny, once again you are correct.

The babies have discovered dress up with Molly:

Poor Marlin...he wants to do what his sisters do...one day, he will figure it out :).

Madeline is the best sleeper.  Marlin is the most laid back.  Molly has personality that just won't quit.

"School" starts back on Monday.  The babies will go on Mondays and Wednesdays and Molly is going 5 days again.  It's only 9 - 12, but, I think (1) they need the interaction and (2) they need the time away from me to know they can survive this big bad world without being on my hip.

Molly has started this being scared to go to sleep stuff, and it's unchartered territory with us.  All of them are good sleepers and have always gone right to bed.  It could be because I'm a "Babywise" follower or just that they are pretty perfect...we will never know :).  It is frustrating, though, and tiring since she gets up in the middle of the night.  Hopegully, it's a stage that we are getting through quickly. Oh, and Molly calls her forehead her "head fore".  Please, no one correct her...it's so sweet and I love it.  If she still says things funny like that when she's leaving for college, well, maybe I'll bust out the correct words to her then :).

Madeline has decided that she wants to do EVERYTHING that Molly does.  Like, screaming at gymnastics for 20 minutes because she couldn't do it, too.  This fit was so bad that eventually my friend was all, "How about you give me Molly's carseat and I'll bring her on home and you can go ahead with the twins".  Ha.  Being the youngest, I remember the days of wanting to do everything Mandie did and being so upset when I wasn't old enough or tall enough or whatever enough.  Poor, poor Pixie.

Marlin is so funny and chill.  He is the first to wake up every morning.  We spend our time together laying in bed and watching a show (currently, he LOVES the movie CARS) and laughing and drinking milk.  I've said it a million times...but, man.  I never knew I could love a boy like I love him.  It's so funny to me how much of a boy he is when he's surrounded by his sisters and princesses and he finds the few boyish toys and goes about his business making car noises (where did he learn that?).  Clearly, he still gets involved in the princess activities, but, he really loves rocks and cars and trucks and everything you think of that boys love.  Luckily, our neighborhood is under construction and he can watch dump trucks and back hoe things a lot.

Our neighborhood pool recently opened (like, last week on Tuesday recent).  I never imagined how much we would enjoy it.  We go essentially every day except Wednesday because of gymnastics.  We went twice on Friday.  It's nothing extravagant - just a pool - but, wow..it's amazing!

Molly is a total fish and Marlin LOVES the water.  Madeline is the least sure of the lot, but, she's warming up...and, no doubt, by next summer she will have no fear like the rest.

We are obsessed with boo-boos and it's really pretty sweet (except when they are crying because they have a 5 day old scrape and need 77 bandaids for it :)).

Overall, life is pretty exhausting, but, we are abundantly blessed and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I watch in hope for the Lord

A friend of mine from high school is facing a fight that we all see and think, "Oh, that wouldn't happen to us".  Her husband is literally fighting for his life battling Stage 4 Melanoma.  I went to middle school and high school with Rachel and her twin sister, Sarah.  Like many friends from high school, Facebook has connected us again.  When I saw the news that Rachel's husband was fighting melanoma, I immediately hit my knees.

8 years ago next month, our family lost a very dear friend to the same.  She was young, 32, and had an almost 2 year old son.  Melissa was diagnosed with melanoma in April before Rob and I were married in June of 2004.  They thought they'd gotten in, but, in June of 2005, it came back and was everywhere.  Melissa is one of my very best friend's sister, and our families are very close.  She was like a sister to Mandie and me.  I think about Melissa everyday, and am still in awe of the grace she displayed in her fight.  I remember when we found out that it was back, I couldn't even say anything to her for the tears.  She liked raspberry ginger-ale, so, I took some to her Mom's house where she was staying.  I literally, couldn't speak.  Her battle was fierce and quick.  And devastating.  Mandie was pregnant with Emma and would go and stay with Melissa during the day sometimes.  We've talked about those visits and the irony of one life entering the world and one slipping away.  Emma was born July 28th and Melissa was buried in early August.  Melissa was courageous and graceful and beautiful.

Rachel and Kevin's story strikes a cord with me, particularly, because of Melissa.  I pray so much for them and their small children.  I pray that he is the miracle we were unable to experience 8 years ago.  I pray that the trial he's undergoing with these TIL cells is a cure for him and others to come.  I pray for strength for his incredible wife.

I pray for my dear friend who lost her sister.

If you would like to pray for the Hill family, please follow their story at http://www.aquietlife.net/.

"But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me."  Micah 7:7

10 minute Tuesday

What a fun Holiday weekend!  It's fair to say, that we are all still recovering this Monday!

Wednesday, I took the kids to our old neighborhood to visit with our favorite people there.  Clo-Clo and Molly picked up right where they left off, and it's so sweet.  They are like 2 peas in a pod.  The babies really aren't shy with her, either, which is fun.  It really is like our kids have 3 grandmothers.  Of course, I forgot my camera.  I have a few pictures from my phone and Flo took a few, too, so, I'll have to upload and post.  Blood isn't the only bind that creates a family, and our French family in Canton is proof of that!

We celebrated a RAINY fourth of July at home and then with friends for dinner.  On Friday my sister and nieces came for the weekend.  It's always so crazy and loud and chaotic when you have five kiddos under one roof, but, it's so fun.  And, that's what memories are made of :).  Molly and Brooke are so funny together - one minute having fun and the next screaming - ha - it's like we have 2 sets of twins!  They all really got along well, though, for the most part and Molly and Brooke did well sleeping together in Molly's room.  I think they were just so exhausted that they didn't have time to fight their sleep!  Sunday, Rob took the twins to the lake for a while and Molly and I had some time on our own.  I took her for her first mani/pedi.  She was such a good girl and so well behaved.

My last post landed me a pretty nasty email from someone who thought I was talking about her in my bullet about parenting advice.  It was super hurtful to me, and I'm trying to see that she had her feelings hurt too, but, it makes it difficult when you are attacked at such scale.  Writing for me is therapy, and it's been a long six months of having my feelings hurt and feeling as if I'm being criticized for every move I make - from several avenues in life.  The long and short of it, maybe I shouldn't have posted my bullets in the last post.  However, it's my blog, my feelings and my thoughts...it's my therapy.  If you think I need additional therapy, well, you are welcome to create your own blog and talk about me on it :).

This week, I'm letting it go.  I can't change you...nor do I want to.  If we were all exactly the same, felt the same, loved the same, hurt the same, well, it'd make for a pretty boring world.  I have this on a post it in my office (right below one that Emma drew that says "I love Tata" - man, I love that girl):

"It takes sadness to know what happiness is, noise to appreciate the silence, absence to value to the presence..."

If you can't say anything nice...

My Granny used to say things like, "If you can't say anything nice, Tara Ann, then it's better to say nothing at all" and "Pretty is as pretty does, if pretty don't do pretty, pretty ain't pretty".  Lately, I've decided that I need  to purge some things, behaviors and people in my life.  Today, I'm deciding that if it causes me more grief than happiness, more harm than good, more sadness than joy, that I don't need it.  Don't think I'm getting all crazy and am going to stop eating yummy fried food or drinking some cold "sodas" - that would defeat the purpose - those bring happiness - and empty calories.  I'm talking about things like - people who constantly hurt my feelings.  Relationships that are damaged beyond repair.  Clothes that make me feel fat.  Shoes that aren't that cute and rub blisters.  Material reminders of something in my past that wasn't happy or that make me feel bad.  Hello, American Kidney Fund? Yes, I'd like to schedule a pick up.  Trash men, I'll have an extra load this week.  I'm sick of my life being cluttered by things that are constant reminders of something I don't like, didn't like, won't ever like, won't ever make me feel good.  Spring cleaning the clutter of my mind, body, soul and physical space...in almost July heat :).  Ha...we don't ever do things the easy way here!  I'm modifying the saying, "If you love something, set it free" to "If you don't love something, set yourself free".

Clearly, there have been things on my mind lately that I need to get rid of and let go.  I've been practicing every day reminding myself that if I can't change it, then I don't need to worry about it.  I think I am going to graffiti my office with that reminder :).  Life is too short, and my kids are too precious, and these moments are too fleeting.

I'm super positive tonight, yes?  I'll get over myself after a few bullets.  Rapid fire unloading.

• Thanks for your parenting advice.  Especially, since I've met you like 5 times in my life and you've met my kids 3 times.  
• Thank you, also, for treating me like a child.  The last time I checked, I'm almost 35 (WHOA NELLY - WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN??!!), have 3 children, 2 houses, a career, 2 cars and 2 dogs.  We manage to keep all of the balls in the air.  We are financially independent and make our own way.  If I need to be scolded like a pre-teen, I'll give you a call.
• If you can't say anything nice, don't say it.  Everyone should listen to their Granny's words of wisdom. I mean, seriously.  Why criticize something as insignificant as dessert?  Just say, oh, this is nice, thank you.  It's rude to criticize every.single.thing.in.life.  Unsolicited and nonconstructive criticism is just plain ugly.  Remember your Granny...pretty is as pretty does.
• In the trenches of parenting, I'm not always graceful.  That doesn't mean that I'm a terrible parent or don't love my kids more than life itself.  

It's been a heck of a Monday.  Clearly, since I just unloaded on my blog where I normally only reserve space for unicorns and perfect days.  I want to make sure that if my kiddos ever read their Momma's musings, they don't have some rose colored glass effect of their childhood and then make themselves feel bad for losing their patience with their own children.  Parenting is hard.  Relationships are hard.  LIFE, my children, is not always easy.  But, that is what makes LIFE worth LIVING.  Go out there, be strong, be confident, don't be afraid to make tough decisions, choose happiness.  And, sometimes, when you have a less than Unicorn Monday, have a little gripe session on your blog, a glass of wine, some melatonin and call it a night.  After all, tomorrow is another day....and the sun always shines in the morning :).