May Madness

Wow - I can't believe it's June...and mid-June already at that!!  May was crazy busy and we ended the month with a trip to our favorite beach St. Augustine with my family.  The kids and I stayed two weeks, but, Daddy had to come on home after one week.  It was CRAZY...but, *mostly* fun :).

Molly had her last day of school in May...What an AWESOME year we had at an AWESOME school.  Sadly, we are changing schools for the upcoming school year to one closer to home...even though her old school was only 12 miles away, the round trip drive for me was typically about 45 minutes...or longer if I fueled my coffee habit in route.

This is Molly on her first day of school (at our first school of the year in Canton) and at her last day of school in Athens. (She did wear shoes the last day - just not in the picture.  And, yes, I have a do not ring the doorbell sign:)).

 The last week of school we had Molly's school performance.  They had a revival theme.  I don't know about you, but, there is something about little kids singing hymns that makes me cry.  Precious.

The babies did really awesome during the performance...and it was kind of long - maybe 30 minutes?  Madeline decided she loved my friend Krista and sat in her lap for most of it...ha!

It wasn't in May, but, in April we took the kids to the G-Day game - which is the annual spring scrimmage for UGA.  There was something special about all of them experiencing Sanford Stadium for the first time together.  And, they were the cutest Bulldawgs there!

  I mean, come on.  It doesn't get much cuter than these itty bitty Bulldawgs!!!

It was May when we had Marlin's hair cut.  I had a hard time with this...I mean, that's a major milestone.  My boy went from a baby to a big kid with a few snips of the scissors.

I will admit, he was getting all fraternity boy scraggley, but, there is something about cutting those first baby curls that makes a Momma sad.

We ended the month with a super crazy and *mostly* fun beach trip.  Week 1 was everybody - us, Mom & Dad and my sister's family.  C-R-A-Z-Y.  Randomly, I had a 12 hour stomach bug or something and I wasn't very nice that day - I'm so grumpy with no sleep or food.  The babies both decided to cut teeth and slept like NEVER the first week.  Marlin, our toothless wonder went to the beach with 4 teeth and came home with I think 10?  I also had some weird allergic reaction to something the first week that made my hands swell up like blown up latex gloves.  It was awesome...and Dad took me to the emergency room Saturday morning.  A few prednizone and few hours later, I felt much better.  I haven't been to the ER since I was 15 and was in a car accident with Richard Hamilton.  Once every 20 years isn't too terrible, I guess.

Week 2 was just Me, Mom and the kids.  (Mine, not Mandie's, too).  I must admit, it was quite a bit calmer, but, I didn't see the beach after Rob left.  Mom started drinking everyday at 5...and she doesn't drink.  HA!  We ended up coming home one day early due to the season's first tropical storm.  It was a good idea - the rain would have driven us crazy in our condo.  It sounds like we didn't have fun, but, we really did.  If you are a parent, you know that beach trips aren't really vacations...they are more work than staying at home.  But, the memories we created and the time spent together - even if it is with screaming toddlers who are fighting you every step of the way - are priceless.  I will admit any day that I'm not the most self-less person (I also wouldn't classify myself as the most selfish, either, though), but, I kind of didn't believe people when they would describe how much they loved their kids.  I mean, I can count on three fingers the people whom I would LITERALLY lay down my life for...and their names all start with M.  I love those buggers - even when they drive me and Nanna to drink...every.day.  :)

We have a picture of every Smith grandchild in this tub...That makes my heart smile.

attempting a grandparent Christmas card photo :)

These 4 pictures make me feel like I'm some super talented photographer...it's actually just called LUCK and taking 700 pictures to get 1 good one!

Brooke turned THREE at the beach - this is at her birthday dinner

May was a fun month...and this summer looks like it's going to be super hot and super fun.  Maybe I'll get around to posting more than once a blue moon.  Our babies are growing so fast...I can't believe what little people they are becoming.  I wish we could hit pause for a while and just freeze these long days and short years of our life.

Happy, happy, happy

This morning the babies were both insistent on wearing these get-ups...hey, whatever makes them happy!!

Marlin's first haircut

He went in a baby...

And came out a boy. (And, a little bit fratty)

Lately...

The babies have been growing and changing so much lately - all three of them!  It's crazy how slow some days are and how quickly the months are flying by.  Madeline has almost all of here teeth - except her k9's - but, that baby even has her first set of molars!!  Marlin has 4 teeth.  Yep...no action on that front.  They are both so smart - they definitely are following basic commands - like - bring Mommy your shoe, etc.  What can I say - they are geniuses.  Molly is speaking in paragraphs and singing...Lord, the child wants to hear "my favorite song and your favorite song and then my onney (other) favorite song".  I made a CD a few weeks back, and I'm surprised that it's still playing.  We listen to it on replay every time we get in the car.  I'm kind of tired of the Dixie Chicks "Earl" and Madonna's "Material Girl".  But, it's so fun to sing with her and listen to her...and what she "hears" in the songs - we never get all of the words right.  I know, I know..."Earl" is not exactly appropriate, since it is about permanently getting rid of an abusive husband, but, it's funny and we will just go with it.

We had Molly's end of the year program at school last week.  This is the first school program where she has seen me and not cried.  She are growing up so fast.  The theme was "Revival" and there is something about children singing traditional hymns that makes you cry.  I loved it and was so proud of her.

Rob travels some with his new job.  It's hard on me at night, and I had a melt down this weekend after being a single parent all week.  I don't know how people do it.  I'm so proud of him, though, his boss is already talking to him about a pretty significant promotion.  And, it gets easier every day with the kiddos - last week was uniquely tough because the twins are transitioning from two naps per day to one.  It made for some very grumpy evenings...with lots of tears, from all of us.

This week, I've decided to start writing down goals for the week.  This way, I can sort of hold myself accountable.  For a starting point, I have the following (I assume each week, I'll impose more difficult standards on myself :)):

1. Exercise three times
2. Monday - empty all the trash cans and get the trash to the curb
3. Do not sweat the things you cannot change (this one is the hardest for me)
4. Speak kindly.  Listen to your Granny - "If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all"
5. No fast food coffee or breakfast

We will see how my new accountability works.  I've been letting too many things that I have no control over ruin my days and consume my thoughts, in turn, ruining my attitude.  I'm trying to teach myself to let it go.  Somethings will never change and will always be hurtful to my heart.  I need to let it go and accept it.

I'm getting my hair done tomorrow...I'm pretty much like a kid in a candy store excited.  These locks need some major TLC and since I tried to color it myself, because I'm an idiot, it looks pretty terrible.  I'm cheap and the past two years have been pretty hectic, so, Mom had started coloring it for me.  Note to self: there are professionals for a reason...and, life is less hectic now than the past 18 months have been.  Treat yourself once a quarter to getting it professionally done.  

I have several pictures and videos to post, but will have to do that from the other computer.  Our babies are growing so fast, I feel like I can actually seeing them growing if I look closely enough!!!

Dear Dr. Kort...

Today begins "National Infertility and Awareness Week."  While I am *mostly* passed all of my infertility woes, those are some serious wounds that may never heal completely.  Infertility is something I would not wish on my worst enemy...it's a battle unlike any I've ever faced...and one so similar and yet so unique to each person.  It's a "sisterhood" if you will, one that brought more tears to my family than anything prior, and one that has brought more joy to my life than I knew was possible.  Our precious doctor sadly passed away when I was about 6 weeks pregnant with the twins.  He is someone whom I think of almost daily and someone who changed our lives permanently.  For the hell we went through, I was so glad to have him by our side and I'm eternally grateful for his kind words, gentle bedside manner and frank advice.  Below is a letter to him that I was never able to write.

Dear Dr. Kort,

The twins are almost 17 months now and Molly is now a lovely little 3 year old.  It was almost 5 years ago that we first met.  It saddens me to know that you live only in our hearts now.

The twins were two of your last babies...Rita assured me that she had updated you of our double positive before you passed away.  I know that you were thrilled for us...but, that you would have been concerned for our health.  I also know that you took special care of us, because in the past 2 years I've  learned of more multiples with severe issues and really rough first months of life than I care to admit.  I'm continually reminded of how blessed we are.  Thank you is not adequate.

I knew, from the moment Rob and I first met you, that you were someone really incredible.  I called you our "Knight in Shining Armor" because I knew that you would find a way to bring children to our family.  Your bedside manner was the best of any doctor I've ever met or even heard of...and the patience you gave to each of us was incredible.  You tolerated my incessant questioning and my "Dr. Google" questions with more humor and compassion than I probably deserved.  To say that I appreciated your time spent with Rob and I would be an understatement.   

More than being thankful that our paths were able to cross, I'd like for your family to know that you are remembered and thought of constantly in our home.  There's not a day that passes that I don't think of you and your staff and appreciate my time spent at RBA.  It's seems contradictory...to remember with a grateful heart a time that was so very difficult in our lives.  However, time has dulled the pain of those days and in the trenches of motherhood, I can certainly say that the tears, procedures, shots, blood tests, all of it...was worth it.

Thank you for your contribution to our world...and for bringing such miracles into our lives.  Every child is a miracle... and, I'm so grateful that you had a hand in ours.

Love,
Tara

The Tomb was Empty

What fun Easter was this year!  We celebrated with Easter Egg hunts at school and in our community, church and an afternoon at Nanna and Pop's house.  Molly learned about the story of Easter at school and we talked about it at home.  She and I have such sweet conversations before bed every night.  One of those this past week was about Jesus and the meaning of Easter.  I asked her what she had learned at school, etc.  She didn't have very articulate answers, for a three year old, I'm sure it's all pretty confusing.  Probably, she wants to know who this Jesus is and when can she see him.   As an adult, I sometimes struggle with those same types of questions.  We talked about how Jesus died on the cross and then came back to life...the tomb was empty...so that he can live in my heart, in your heart, in Daddy's heart, etc.  We talked about everyone's hearts that Jesus lives in...Nanna, Pop, Sissy, Brubby, U-U (my sis), Emma, Brooke, Annie, T, Sidda and Buffet.  I think those are all of the people and dogs she inquired about.  It's so sweet seeing the innocence of a child and seeing the world through their eyes.  On Monday, Molly told my Mom that "Jesus lives in my heart...and in your's too, Nanna."  I love that God-fearing baby girl.

Egg hunting was super fun and Marlin and Madeline enjoyed it, too.  Madeline was all about putting eggs in her basket!  Marlin liked it...but it looks like Madeline might have the stronger competitive gene.

10 minute Tuesday

So much is going on these days and yet so little.  I literally only have about 10 minutes so I want to get it down.

• My iPhone did something weird and wouldn't sync today, so I had to restore it.  That also meant that I had to delete a bunch of photos and videos so I had enough storage on my phone (only after uploading them to the trusty Mac, though!).  I couldn't resist and spent about 20 minutes looking through pictures and videos.  I can't believe what a baby Molly was when I got pregnant with the twins.  I thought she was so grown.  I'm glad that it's not too late for me to appreciate how little they are - all of them.
• Molly still has her paci - only at night - and people might judge...and I'm sure have their own opinions about it.  Whatever.  The DR said as long as we get rid of it by the time she turns 4 that there should be no permanent damage to her teeth.  Its not like she's going to take it to college.  I sucked my thumb until I was in first grade.  I'm letting this one go.
• Molly has discovered music and singing along.  Be still my heart.  It is so sweet.  Especially since her favorite song is James Taylor's "Go tell it on the mountain".  My Dad rode to school with us on Monday and totally cried when she was singing it.  He's a marsh-mellow, but it really is that sweet, too.  Her 2nd favorite (today) is Madonna's "Material Girl".  We are going old school here!
• Madeline continues to be my little bully.  Dang that girl has some strong opinions.
• My poor Marney...one day he's gonna stand up to those sisters of his.
• Oh how we love being outside.  It is so wonderful to have children that love the outdoors...except when it's raining or cold and crazy windy.  My favorite is playing outside with those sweet babies of ours.
• Sometimes I wish you could have an anonymous status update on Facebook   Today, mine *might* be - "If your stomach sticks out further than your boobs...you might need a boob job...or tummy tuck...or both."
• Sometimes I wish my blog was a secret so that I could say things that I would otherwise not say.  In another life I had a blog that only a few people knew about.  It was refreshing to network in that anonymous blog world and have people encourage, offer advice, offer ass-vice, etc. 
• I cannot spell anonymous.  Thank goodness for spell check.
• Relationships are hard.  Marriage can be hard.  Life isn't supposed to be easy.  I get it.  But, it sure would be nice if life were easy, wouldn't it?
• We have spring pictures on Friday.  I'm so excited.  I haven't had professional pics of Molly in so long.  Believe me, though, we have pictures of her :).  She hasn't gone un-noticed.
• Madeline has like 10 teeth....Marlin has 4.  I'm not kidding.  I wonder if he will ever get teeth?  Although, he's been super cranky the past few days...maybe that's his problem.  
• God I love that boy.  Seriously, never believed people when they said there was something about a boy and his momma.  
• I have a cardinal that has been at my bird feeder outside of my office window for what seems like DAYS.  Basically, everytime I look out there he's hanging out.  He is so pretty and I love him.  God is a wonderful maker.
• I am coaching my kids to marry people from Athens.  They will probably all end up somewhere crazy - three different places - all over the world.  Better start saving for airfare now.  Because when they call and ask me to be there, I'm gonna move heaven and earth if I have to.
• I read a post today about a girl's grandmother and how that grandmother has translated a message from God for this girl.  It was heart-breakingly touching.  I lost my grandmother 20 years ago and my grandfather 21 years ago.  There isn't a day that passes where I don't think of them.  I hope my kids have the same (and MORE) memories of their grandparents that I have (and they are lucky because they have 4).  I also hope that they will one day realize how lucky they are to have them.
• Being a parent is the hardest thing I've ever done.  We don't do everything right, I'm sure, but, we are doing it our way.  It's exhausting and sometimes just downright dirty.  I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Times up.