There but for the Grace of God...

Today started off just swimmingly.  (Is that even a word?).  Anyway, we got up late, cried because we got up late, missed the bus, cried because we missed the bus, cried because we didn't like our outfits, cried because our diaper leaked, cried because we didn't want to go to kindergarten, cried because the sky was blue, cried because the right cup wasn't clean.  You know, one of those smooth mornings where everything goes just right?  And, then, I get them all loaded in the car, all with tears and me almost in tears and...back into the garage door.  Oh, the cacophony of cries.  That's it.  Get out.  Get back in bed.  Start over.  The school will probably call family services on me for being tardy twice in a week, but, whatever.  But, you know what?  It's OK.  We are OK.  We made it to school and when we did, there were no tears.  And, I'm fine and they are fine and the garage is fine and the car is fine...and even if they weren't, they can be fixed.  We are the lucky ones.

This past weekend, a boy in a neighboring county played at his Senior homecoming football game and had a car accident on the way home.  And, you know what?  That's not OK.  His momma can no longer hold him and make things better.  He is fine in the arms of Jesus, but, what is left behind is not OK.  He has a momma and a daddy and a brother, and aunts and uncles and cousins, and friends and maybe grandparents.  And, they aren't OK.  And, their lives will never be the same because they can no longer hug him, or play ball with him, or hold him in their arms and whisper in his ear how much they love him.  By the grace of God, his family will find some kind of new normal, but, nothing will ever be the same.

This young man's untimely death has shaken me to the core.  I can't get him out of my mind.  And, moreover, I can't get his mom out of my mind.  I can't imagine facing a day like she has faced each morning since Saturday.  I can't imagine answering that door and receiving the news she got Saturday morning.  I just can't imagine.

In high school, we, too, lost a friend.  A sweet, sweet girl, who loved life and had this contagious smile.  She left a mark on all of us that we will never forget.  I hope her momma knows that none of us have ever forgotten her....and never will.

I want to scream and ask God why these things can happen.  We will never know until we meet again in Heaven, and, gosh, that's a hard truth to live with some days.  In the meantime, I pray for the friends and families of these sweet lives taken way too early from this earth.  And, selfishly, I pray that there but for the Grace of God go I.  Please Lord, keep our babies safe.  Keep them from harm's reach.  Please, Lord, help this sweet family that is going through so much pain and suffering.  Keep them wrapped in your arms, forever and ever.  Amen.

Thank you, Lord, for keeping me in check, and teaching me that everything is just fine, even through the tears and mistakes we make.  I woke up this morning to healthy children.  Thank you, God, for showing me grace, yet again today, by allowing me to see the sunrise and hold my babies.  Amen.

10 minutes on Thursday

I don't know how people keep up regularly with much in their lives.  Someone was trying to sell me something - and they were like. "You just do X once a day for 30 days and VIOLA!  You are a brand new person."  My response, verbatim, "I don't do anything EVERY.SINGLE.DAY except brush my teeth."  And, yall, that's the God's honest truth.  I feel scattered and pulled in too many directions every day to do anything with super regularity.  I'd feel bad about it, but, instead, I like to think of myself as spontaneous.  Sounds better, right?  Anyway, I like to make lists, so, here's a list of things happening these days:

• When Marlin is thirsty, he tells me, "Mommy, I'm getting DRINKIE...I need some BOBBIE!"  Drinkie = thirsty.  Bobbie = chocolate milk.  That boy....melts me.
• Molly ROCKED cheerleading this year.  I'm so proud of how well her squad did.  At the first game, I was really nervous, but, by the last game, I was so proud of how far they'd come.  That girl is seriously competitive....At the last game, she told, "Mom!  The other team has 7 points and we have 0!  We need to cheer better!!!"  Bless her.  We did get a W one time this season.  The other games, well, we just ran out of time.  
• Madeline is loving gymnastics....and, boy, that girl has the booty and legs to be a gymnast!  She's such a hot mess.  She has her gymnastics coach wrapped around her little finger....Coach Justin just smiles at her and shakes his head.  She pretty much can make anyone do what she wants.
• The babies (yes, I know they will be FOUR soon (Be still my heart), but they are still my babies) learn bible verses each week at school.  This morning, Mad took Marlin's toy and he quickly told her, "Ma-win, you are not being kind to one another!!"  LOVE.  LOVE.  LOVE.
• We've switched rooms, once again.  The girls are together now and Marlin has his own room.  The girls room is finished - complete with a vanity and new bedding and new paint....and very girly, but, grown up enough that they won't want me to completely re-do it in a couple of years.  Marlin, bless him, he's being very patient with us to finish his room.  We are doing board and batten and right now, the top 1/3 or so of his walls and his ceiling are finished, and the bottom has one coat of white paint....and toys and furniture are all in the middle of the room.  I did get the hot pink closet door painted navy blue for him, though.  Can't be having a hot pink door now, can we?
• Kindergarten is going well.  Who knew kindergarten could be so stressful?  I'm so thankful that Molly has two great teachers that are very patient with me.  See that?  With me?  hahaha.  Sorry ladies!!!  I haven't been in kindergarten for, um, like 21 years....And, she's my baby.  

Ok, well, I've surpassed my 10 minute allowance by 11 minutes now.  One day, maybe I will do things consistently.  Until then.....