37 Weeks

It's less than 1 week until the babies arrive.  I can.not.believe.it.  Three years ago, I vowed to myself that if we ever only had one child, that child would be enough.  And, if that were our destiny, Molly is certainly enough.  That girl has given me more joy and taught me more about love in her 21 (almost 22!!) months of life that I learned in the 31 years before her.

Today is my last day of work before the twins arrive.  I'm emotional.  I'm actually kind of a wreck.  Granted, I have nothing work related to handle, so, I'm sitting here at my laptop and my Mac and just thinking about what life will be like in one week.

I remember the weekend after our transfer with the twins.  We were at the lake house with Rob's mom and brother.  My pregnancy tests were not positive...and I was a mess.  I was pissed off.  I was livid.  We had our transfer with Molly on a Monday and the test was positive on Friday.  With the babies, our transfer was Tuesday and on Saturday there was still only 1 line.  No one knew about our transfer except Mom and Mandie.  We went on a boat ride that Saturday afternoon...and as I held my girl and fought back tears, I prayed for His peace and for His reminder that I've said a million times that Molly is more than I could have ever asked for...and that she was all we'd need.  Sunday morning there were 2 lines.  I honestly felt that once I accepted and believed in His peace that my babies decided to stick.  Scientifically, I know that is impossible.  But, I also know that nothing in this life is impossible...because I have this...

We went to the doctor yesterday, Rob's birthday, because I have been having contractions.  I cried when my doctor said he's advise us to wait for our scheduled C-Section.  I know that's the best for our babies...and I know I can survive the 6-ish days until then.  I'm tired...and I'm ready to be able to chase my girl again.  I also cried because on the way to the doctor and the whole time we were there, I was all sweaty armpit terrified.  What in the world are we going to do with THREE babies?  I know we will figure it out.  I know that God only gives you what you can handle.  I know that these babies will fill our lives with as much love as Molly has and that we will not remember life before them once they are here. I know that our new normal will be the chaos I've always craved of a house full of little feet and sweet giggles and messy kisses.  I also know that we'll endure the tantrums of the terrible two's - 3 times over - the years of teenager hell and the sadness/celebration of an empty nest one day.  This is what I've dreamed of...and what I've always hoped my life would be.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord.  "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

Thankful

We had Molly's Thanksgiving Feast at her school yesterday.  I am so thankful for her teacher, Ms. "Pebby" and everyone at her school.  Molly LOVES going to school and loves her little friends there.  They had a man at the "Feast" who sang fun songs about Thanksgiving and the kids loved him.  We tried to get some good pictures, but we didn't want Molly to see us before his performance was over.  She would have wanted to be with us instead of enjoying this time with her friends and teacher.  Here are a few pictures of our baby girl "getting down"...the girl LOVES to dance.

In other news...we are 35 weeks today and the twins were measuring almost 6lbs (boy) and almost 5lbs (girl) last Friday.  They look perfectly healthy and wonderful...and CONTENT in their current residence.  Mommy is ready for them to come out...but, clearly, I want them to be healthy.  We'll try to keep them in as long as possible...and I'll probably complain and be thankful for each and every uncomfortable day.  My doctor didn't even want to see me this week.  So...here we are.  Huge...uncomfortable...and incredibly thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Knock Knock!!!

Molly's new game is Knock Knock.  I'm guessing she learned it at school...it's hysterical!

21 things about 21 months

Molly Moo....You are 21 months on Friday.  I can't believe it.  What an awesome ride it's been...and it's been roller coaster fast.  You are such a little person with this HUGE personality.

1. You are obsessed with clothes and shoes.  You put on every pair of shoes that you own and can get to every single day.  This morning, I was going to take your outfit to wear to school downstairs and you had to have it on Right.That.Second.  You are an opinionated little fashionista, my dear.  Also, include hats and jackets to that mix...and your jackets must be ZIPPED.
2. You LOVE Sidda and Buffett.  Even though they drive me nuts and knock you down all the time, I gotta love them for that.  You will kiss them both good night before even THINKING about kissing, say, YOUR MOTHER night night :).
3. You are a mile a minute...24/7.  You never slow down.  This, however, tends to make you a pretty good sleeper.
4. You have almost all of your teeth.  Thank goodness.  You have the 2 "i" teeth up top left to cut...and I can tell you are working on them.
5. You LOVE "school" and have no qualms leaving me for the loving time spent with Ms. Pebby.
6. You also love this boy in your class, Cruz.  You talk about him and "Pebby" all the time.
7. You love people, in general.  And, you are typically the center of attention.  But, even when you aren't, you don't mind.  
8. I think, probably, your favorite people (other than me and your Dad, of course) are Pop, Emma and Brooke.  I wouldn't put them in that order, though.  Probably Pop, then Brooke, then Emma.  I don't know, girl...you love your core group of people - and we discuss them daily.  Nan, Pop, "Ma!" (Emma), Brooke, Lu-Lu, BT, Ann, T, Clo-Clo, Jeff (we are working on this one) and Kelmo (Elmo).  You can also add Pebby, Cruz, Mimmie (Minnie Mouse) and George to that list most of the time.  But, you definitely have a thing for Pop.
9. You have become a snuggle puppy in the mornings with me while we watch George, which I LOVE.
10. You have started loving Nuk (milk), too.  But, it has to be strawberry flavored.  Anyway, I'm glad you are drinking more milk for me.
11. Everyone wants you to spend the night with them all the time.  Mommy likes you at home.  But, when we need the help, you have a good time and don't seem to mind being away for a night or so.
12. YOU LOVE BEING OUTSIDE!!!  Rain, sleet, snow, 900 degree weather.  Take a grumpy Molly to the park or to the backyard and the girl is in heaven.
13. You are your father's child...give the girl some meat and bread and you've got yourself a meal.  I would prefer additional fruits and vegetables...so, we work on that.  It's a struggle some days.
14. If Pop ate poop, you would want some off of his plate.  Not.Kidding.  You even ate canned tuna with him.
15. I think you are beginning to understand that something big is about to happen.  You constantly look at the babies cribs and try to get in the bassinet and you will kiss my belly.  It's precious, and I really think that you are going to be a wonderful big sister.
16. You take 1 nap a day - usually about 1 - 4 or 2 - 4. Depends on the day and how active you've been in the morning.
17. You go to bed around 8PM and sleep until 7 or 8 in the morning, TYPICALLY.  
18. You love stickers, coloring, painting, etc.  I think we might have a little artist on our hands.  You especially like to put stickers on your dogs.  
19. You talk a lot.  Wonder who you get that from?  You say funny things...like Nuk for milk, DUCK for anything that flies, Mimmie for Minnie Mouse, Tootles for Mickey, Donald Duck instead of trick or treat and bock bock for Chicken.  You also speak with PASSION.  My girl knows what she wants and she's not afraid to tell you.  You make the "ahh' sound for water and you want it with ICE!  and you make the snoring sound for sleep.
20. You are OBSESSED with your sassy (aka pacifier).  You like the car a lot lately because you can have your sass in the car or bed only.  You will go to the door and say GO!  Sass!
21. You are the light of our life and the joy of our days.  I hope you always remember that and keep that strong head of yours.  

34 weeks

WOW...34 weeks.   This pregnancy has simultaneously creeped and sped by me.  It seems like so long ago that we found out our transfer worked and then that it was twins...but it seems like the weeks are speeding by.  It doesn't make sense, but I'm sure you get the point.

Here are the stats:
How far along: 34 weeks

Size of baby: 2 weeks ago they were both weighing in around 4.5 lbs.  The way they are kung-fu fighting my lungs, it feels like they are about 10 lbs each.  Baby Center says they are about 4.75 lbs and about the size of an average cantaloupe.  I'm gonna bet mine are bigger than that...RBA makes some big babies!  Baby Center also says, "If you've been nervous about pre-term labor, you;ll be happy to know that babies born between 34 and 37 weeks who have no other health problems generally do fine."  That's good.  Can I have a c-section tomorrow, then?

Maternity Clothes: Even some of those are too small.  I'm most comfy in Rob's pajama pants, a maternity tank top and a big comfy long sleeve t-shirt.

Gender: An innie and an outie!  Yikes - what are we gonna do with a boy???

Movement: All.The.Time.  I can literally feel them kicking/punching my ribs.  (She's breech and he's head down.)  Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they are active (aka to me healthy), but the bone on bone feeling contact in my ribs isn't super awesome.

What I miss:  Being able to take care of myself and Molly on my own.  I can't keep up with her anymore and it's killing me.  I'm a bit of a control freak...I like to do it my way and I like to do it myself.  I have trouble asking people for help.  At least I can be honest with myself, right?

Cravings:  Not really anything right now.  I can't eat too much at once - no room.  So, I've been eating a lot of peanut butter toast.  You are jealous, I know.

Symptoms:  You name it.  SEVERE back pain on my right side.  Like, it hurts to sit for more than a few minutes or to stand.  Laying down is best.  I went to the chiropractor for some relief, but almost passed out twice, so, I guess I won't try that again.

Best Moment this week:  My best moment everyday is Molly.  Even when she's screaming because she wants to go outside and I think if I have to stand up I might give birth.  Even when she wakes up at 4AM and wants "nuk" (aka milk) and by the time I've made it and make it to her room she's sound asleep.

This was at 32 weeks.  I swear I think my belly grows every day.

Cousins!!!

We had all three girls at Mom and Dad's this weekend.  They are so fun!!!

Amazed...

Periodically throughout the day, it will hit me that in 7 - 11 weeks, we will be a family of five.  FIVE.  A whole hand full of fingers.  An entire lineup of a basketball team.  1 short of a half dozen.  F.I.V.E.  WOW.  It amazes me.  I remember, one very sad Christmas, I promised myself that my house would never be quiet if I could help it.  That I wanted to fill my home and life with the sound of little feet and laughter and love.  A few years ago, it seemed that my promise to myself and prayer for my life would never come to fruition.  As I look at my little slice of heaven...or get annoyed when she doens't want to go to bed...or feel sad when she has a cold...I'm in constant amazement that God allowed US the privilege of this sweet girl to be the center of our lives.  I almost cannot even believe that He is trusting us with TWO MORE of these miracles.

I was looking through my old blog today for pictures of Molly's room...I thought I had posted on her nursery before, but I couldn't find it.  I'll have to do a show and tell of both nurseries once the babies nursery is complete.  What I did find was a post from December 2009, just two short months before our little miracle entered this world.

While I am so very impatiently waiting on this perfect little being to enter our life, my good friend is waiting on her first beta after her first IVF. I tried to convince her to make them see her today...but she goes in tomorrow morning. For the most part, I've been successful in blocking out the most miserable of the 2 week waits, but her wait has felt more like my own than I imagined possible. I pray for her and for this to be the only IVF cycle she ever suffers through.

I was searching through some old emails today and stumbled across an email from my first IVF of 2009. I wrote:

Dr K just called us. Our beta came back at 9.1. Apparently, it is only a positive pregnancy test if you level is 10 or higher. I have to go back in on Thursday for another beta test. He said even if it does rise, he will not be comfortable for a while that it will last. He was not encouraging that this will result in a healthy pregnancy or baby.

At this point, w e are devastated and praying for a miracle.

It makes me cry reading it now. It amazes me how far we've traveled in 3 and a half years. Notice I don't say "how far we've come" - it doesn't seem like we actually went anywhere, but took a huge detour that did finally take us to the next step of our lives that we'd been seeking. Instead of going directly straight to that next step, I feel our path was more of a U shaped street that we somehow got lost on and finally made it back to the original road we intended to be on the whole time...only about 1 footstep ahead of where we were detoured to begin with.

I remember all too well the days of waiting on that beta - the number that I'd hear when they called - to tell me if we were moving forward or standing still.  There are no words to express the amount of pure joy that fills my heart about my three babies.  The sleepless nights, the all too quickly approaching terrible two's, the thought of 3 teenagers and three young adults in college at once, the stress, the frantic thoughts of what could be (insert any emotion here).  Motherhood is more than I could have ever dreamed of...it's the most challenging and rewarding journey I've ever experienced. 

Amazed...and blessed beyond belief.  You three babies were worth the wait.  Mommy loves you.

26 Weeks

Pregnancy Highlights: 

How Far Along: 26 Weeks

Size of baby: Two weeks ago at the DR they were both weighing in at a pound and a half.  Baby Center says they weigh about a pound and two thirds each and are about 14 inches from head to toe.  All I know is that this belly is getting quite large and that by the end of the day, Momma is pretty uncomfortable.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: more than 15 lbs...but I don't weigh at home.  So, at my next DR visit, I'll have an accurate answer.  I'd guess about 17 lbs to date.

Maternity Clothes: Do other clothes even exist anymore?

Gender: It's a GIRL AND A BOY!!!

Movement: They are totally practicing their gymnastics in there!  All day long...they are active little buggers.

Sleep: I could sleep ALL.DAY.LONG.  I'm still sleeping pretty decent at night, too.  I just really love a nap every day.

What I miss: Gonna just have to have a standard answer here of cold beer or "soda" as we call it in our family.  Fall, football, a patio and a big, cold mug of soda sounds about perfect.

Cravings: SUGAR...Anything sweet.  I'd really love a Heath candy bar but haven't had any luck finding them at the store.  Or, the Russell Stover chocolate covered toffee...ahh....

Symptoms: Sinuses...same as with Molly.  I have chronic sinus issues when pregnant.  My back is killing me.  I can sit for about an hour for work and then I have to walk around the house for about 5 minutes or sit in the recliner with the laptop in my lap.  It's pretty uncomfortable.  And, it's always my right side, mid back.  The chiropractor could possibly help, but he has so many opinions about vaccines and all, that I just don't have the patience for him.

Best Moment this week: My girl got up at 6:45 Tuesday morning.  We are typically a 7 - 7:30 house.  Mommy would love to be an 8:00 house.  But, we are cutting those "i" teeth and sleep hasn't been fabulous this week.  So, we got up at 6:45 and we were watching "tootles" AKA Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  I was laying on the sofa and she was sitting at the top of my belly next to me.  Out of nowhere, she leaned over, took her sassy (aka paci) out of her mouth and gave me this super sweet all puckered up kiss.  Melt.My.Heart.  That girl...ah...she is so sweet.

24 weeks

Pregnancy Highlights: 

How Far Along: 24 Weeks

Size of baby: They are both currently weighing in about a pound and a half.  He measured 1 lb 8 oz and she measured 1 lb 7 oz this past Wednesday.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 15 LBS (Yes - that's more than I gained with Molly.  I'm sporting a 9 month Molly belly these days...)

Maternity Clothes: Yes, please!

Gender: It's a GIRL AND A BOY!!!

Movement: They are totally practicing their gymnastics in there!  Especially, around 10PM.

Sleep: I could sleep ALL.DAY.LONG.  I'm still sleeping pretty decent at night, too.  I just really love a nap every day.

What I miss: Being able to paint my own toes.

Cravings: Flavor Ice Popsicles!!  And, Reese's Pieces.  I'd also LOVE some UNO Pizza...but, I don't think a trip to Chicago is in my near future.

Symptoms: Sinuses...same as with Molly.  I have chronic sinus issues when pregnant.  Not too bad so far.  My back is definitely realizing that we are pregnant with twins.  Both babies are breach - with their heads basically where my ribs meet...breathing is getting tough :)

Best Moment this week: Pedicure on Friday night.


Molly has been sick this week, which is not normal for us.  Poor baby girl, she's so puny.  I hope she will be feeling better in the morning, else, we will go back to the Dr.

so nerdy...

Fudgesicle anyone?

Three cheers for sunglasses and snack time!!

Blessed Beyond Belief

I've been thinking lately, that these poor babies are really not getting a lot of blog time!  Things are so crazy here with work, Rob working 6 days a week (BOO!), Molly, the ever busy body...just trying to keep up exhausts me. 

In another life, I had another blog about our struggles with trying to conceive.  It was my bible for many moons...a source of therapy unlike any other I've ever received...and a true comfort in a time of great need during our marriage and lives.  I blogged religiously and each comment was a stitch to heal my wounded soul.  This blog, which soon needs a new title, is more of a diary and keepsake for my children when they are older and can appreciate their mother's perspective and memories.  Maybe this will be something they cherish when I am no longer here to talk to them.  Who knows...they may just think I'm cheesey and toss it to the side.  Either way, I enjoy cataloguing my sweet girl's milestones here, and the good Lord knows I haven't written a sentence in her baby book.  *Must do that before the twins arrive.*

Anyway, I digress.  During my pregnancy with Molly, I basically blogged about my pregnancy the whole time, without really blogging about anything else.  I'm sure it was very boring for others to read...but, being pregnant with Molly consumed my life.  This pregnancy, poor 2nd and 3rd children, can't consume my life...because I have this 18 month old ball of energy who has absolutely no clue what is going to happen in say, oh, about 4 months.  I kind of feel like I looked up one day and here we are - with this big belly (I can no longer see my feet) and these gymnasts doing back tucks in my belly.  So, right now, I want to document only information about this pregnancy.  You know, because I'm a 2nd child and I was oh so neglected, that I don't want these guys to feel that way. ;)  (Mom - I hope you can hear the sarcasm there...)

• Morning sickness - Yes, please.  This time, I took zofran pretty regularly the first 12 weeks.  It didn't totally help, but, it definitely helped a little. 
• At 22 weeks, my stomach still turns at raw meat.  We eat out a lot these days.  (However, I cooked a full meal tonight AND was able to eat it!  GO ME!)
• Movement - ABSOLUTELY!  I've been feeling them move since about week 11.  Although, textbooks say I couldn't feel them until week 13.  Rob has just felt them this week - little peanuts are getting strong!
• Cravings - SWEETS, just like with Molly.  I could eat an entire cheesecake.  Well, not really, because I get full really fast...but, it sure sounds yummy.  Also, I'm addicted to Flavor Ice popsicles.  ADDICTED, I tell ya.
• Weight gain - I've gained 10 pounds as of 2 weeks ago...probably another 2 or 3 since then.  I gained 13 total with the Moo Bear. 
• Today, at 22 weeks and 1 day, I honestly think I am as big now as I was with Molly the day I delivered.  NOT.KIDDING.
• These precious babies were transferred on 4/4/11 as blastocysts (IVFers will know what I'm talking about).  Molly was transferred on 6/6/09.  Kind of strange that they were both transferred on dates with the same first 2 numbers.  That sounds weird, but you know what I mean.  Molly, as an embryo, was also a blast.
• Our official 40 week due date is 12/20/11.
• I have finally ordered cribs!  YAY!  They are ready to be picked up when I want to go get them.  This means going by myself, because I'll have to fold up the seats in the middle row of the Tahoe to get them loaded. 
• I am buying material tomorrow for their nursery...Mom is going to help me make bed skirts, pillows, drapes, etc.  I'm not doing bumpers for the little ones.  Gender neutral nurseries are DIFFICULT to decorate.  I'll post pictures when (if) it's finished.  At 28 weeks, Molly's nursery was already painted and Rob was working on the chair rail.  Again, poor 2nd/3rd children - ha.
• I think my OB is really pleased with my lack of neuroses this pregnancy.  I would go in with LISTS of questions when I was expecting with Molly.  This time, I just rattle a few randoms off the top of my head. 
• We have names picked out, but aren't telling.  They are mostly family names, but not all 4 of the names are family related.  I'd like to think of a sweet way to tell the people who they will be named after.  At the moment, I'm at a loss.
• I am exhausted, all day, every day.  This is either due to the fact that I am sustaining not only my life, but that of 2 others...OR...that I have a child who never sits down except to sleep :).  And, I wouldn't trade that butterbean for the world. 
• I'm already trying to break myself of the habit of calling them "the twins".  They need their own identity.
• People ask you funny things when you are having twins...some of the questions I've gotten are:
• Are you going to dress them alike all the time?  I love that.  (The answer is no - they need their own identities...and, a boy cannot wear dresses.)
• Are they identical? (Sure...except he has a penis and she does not.  Sure, except he has an X and a Y chromosome and she has 2 Xs.  Absolutely.  Pretty much, I'm mean about this one, but, I'm pretty moody pregnant and have a very low tolerance for just about anything or anyone.)
• Jeez...so, you are done now, right?  (Unless the good Lord decides we're not.  We are, however, 99% sure we are finished with the IVF route of having babies - for inquiring minds.)
• Are you having your tubes tied after this?  (um...no.  These three cost us about $30K in CASH - excluding what insurance paid.  If we get a free one, we'll take it!).
• Why aren't you bigger yet?  (I don't know... I eat all the time.)
• Are you sure you are eating enough? (Uh...I eat ALL.THE.TIME.  Don't believe me, ask my husband.)
• Oh.my.gah...are they natural?  (As opposed to...?  Aliens?  Yes, my children are natural...they may have been fertilized in a petri dish, but, they are not sent off to grow in an alien spaceship for 40 weeks.)
• Ooh...If it's 2 girls/boys I'll take one.  (Uh, thanks.  But, we thought we'd keep them both.)
• Oh my gah - are you totally freaking out?  I would be.  (Well, not really.  The logistics are kind of hard to figure out, but, I'm sure we can handle it.  I mean, the most important thing for children is for them to know they are safe and loved.  We have that covered, for sure!)

People are funny.  Most days, I have a good sense of humor about things people say.  Some days, it annoys me.  People mean well, I just think (myself included) that most of the time things come out of our mouths that never bothered to pass through our brain.  (Like when someone told me recently that I better get moving my butt because I was getting big...Yeah...thanks for that.  I'll just go on a starvation diet....because this huge belly is just a beer gut :)).  I PROMISE I'm not trying to be smart, I just have an attitude pregnant...and it's pretty sarcastic...and I do love my friends and family...and occasionally, the random stranger who asks me some jacked up question about my babies.

The one thing I can say about this pregnancy, no matter my freak out the morning after we found out it was twins, my complaining about morning sickness, tiredness, my worry that we had tried too soon and thus, robbed Molly of her only time in life where it would just be the three of us (which is RIDICULOUS...well, all of those things above are!), we are truly, amazingly, Blessed Beyond Belief.  I love using that phrase...to me, it has three letters and we have three babies...we have three years of expecting Molly, our year as just the three of us, and now we have this third year..where we are expecting these latest miracles God has given us.  So, my sarcasm aside, I absolutely, 100%, with all of my heart, believe that we are where we are meant to be and am happier than I have ever been. 

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

Who, really, can not see the hand of God in this?


Baby Girl is on top facing down, Baby Boy is facing up looking at her feet.

Oh, and, I know...I totally wrote about all three of them, not just the babies.  Did you really think I could write about the twins without writing about the Molly Moo, too?!

Molly goes to School!

I can't believe my baby is old enough for preschool!!  She is going to a preschool 2 days a week...and is HAVING A BLAST!!!  She gets a little bit upset when I leave her, but, it lasts, seriously, like 20 seconds. I know because I stood outside the door and waited :).  She goes from 9 - 1 and when she gets home, the poor girl is so worn out.  When she's tired these days, she will make the snoring noise (which we play a lot pretending Mommy or Daddy is asleep and she "wakes" us up by "scaring" us with her very terrifying BOO! and hysterical laughter!  She's got such a personality.  The director at school was bragging on her about how advanced she is for her age...I guess that is probably a product of being an only child (FOR 16 MORE WEEKS!!! OMG!!!) and an only grandchild on Rob's side...and basically, spending her entire days with adults only.  She is just such a big girl.

Here are some pictures from her first day at school...

Watching Mickey Mouse... 

So excited that Daddy went late to work so he could see her... 

Eating breakfast 

Loving school already!!!

Oh, and, P.S.  In case you didn't see this above...We have, like seriously, only 16 weeks to go until we meet the twins.  Yes, that's only 38 weeks...but, who am I kidding?  I barely carried Molly 38.5 weeks...Momma ain't planning on carrying 2 for 40 weeks!  I did finally order some cribs...so, at least these kids will have a place to sleep.  Still no nursery decorations!  Definitely different with the 2nd (& 3rd!!) child...Molly's nursery was basically finished by now...and I totally drove around with her car seat in my car for like 6 weeks before she arrived!

And, in case you are wondering, this is how she is at night after she's been at school...

That's right...wearing a bib, for fun, no clothes, and checking out some new apps on Dad's phone.  TOTALLY TUCKERED OUT!!!

21 Weeks!

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 21 Weeks

Size of baby: Babycenter says almost 3/4 of a pound...but at 20 weeks, Baby Boy was measuring 13 ounces and Baby Girl was measuring 12 ounces.  They are about the size of a carrot.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 10 lbs., much to Dr. Mann's dismay.  She wants me to gain 40 pounds total...and we have only 19 weeks to go.  (WHAT??  YIKES!!!)

Maternity Clothes: Yes, please!

Gender: It's a GIRL AND A BOY!!!

Movement: They are totally practicing their gymnastics in there!  Especially, around 10PM.

Sleep: I could sleep ALL.DAY.LONG.  At night, it's touch and go.  I have been having CRAZY, INSANE dreams...like waking up scared in the middle of the night because I was an escaped POW in a war and was trying to rescue my fellow POWs.  Thank you, lovely hormones.

What I miss: COLD BEER. Which, isn't a very nice thing to say, I guess.  But, it's HOT...and a really cold beer in a very frosty mug would be so refreshing!!

Cravings: Flavor Ice Popsicles!!

Symptoms: Headaches...stupid heat.  Sinuses...same as with Molly.  I have chronic sinus issues when pregnant.  Not too bad so far.

Best Moment this week: Taking our girl to Tanglewood Farms.  She is such a grown up...and just had so much fun!!! 

19 weeks down!!!

Wow - this pregnancy seems to be moving at warp speed.  Well, except for the first few months where I thought I might not live through it!  Ha.  I can't believe that we are 1/2 way there.  Yeah, I know 20 weeks is technically 1/2 of 40, but let's not kid ourselves.  I went 38.5 weeks with Molly, it's doubtful I'll go past 38 weeks with TWINS!  AH!  TWO BABIES.  Some days I still really can't believe it.  Other days, it seems totally normal to be having a litter of babies :). 

We've been busy doing a lot of nothing lately.  We mostly stick around the house or go to my sister's in Atlanta. 

This week, we had an overnight visitor - Emma!  Molly was SO EXCITED that "Ma" was here!  They played and had a great time.  Wednesday morning, Molly got up and I quietly snuck out of bed to let Emma continue to sleep.  Molly and I went downstairs and after about an hour, I said, "Do you remember who is sleeping upstairs?"  And she kind of looked at me like - what are you talking about crazy.  I'm the only person who sleeps upstairs.  She was SOOOO EXCITED to wake Emma up.  It was the sweetest thing.  If I wasn't so lazy and tired, I would have had my camera ready to capture the moment.

Today is sweet Emma's birthday - 6 YEARS OLD!!!  I can't believe it.  She is such a special part of our life - and such a sweet, compassionate, loving child.  She really has a very kind heart.  What a special girl you are, Emma Lorraine!  Tata, Robbie and Molly Love you!  Happy Birthday!

Welcome to the world!

6 Years Old!!!

Happy Birthday to the sweetest 6 year old I know!!

Kids are funny and other random thoughts

Pregnancy makes me hibernate.  Literally.  I would be content laying on the couch and just laying there...for hours...every.single.day.  Alas, I have a full-time, pretty demanding job, a VERY active *almost* 17 month old (yes, I cried today when I scheduled her 18 month well check), a household to run, a husband to love, relationships to maintain.  I am pretty terrible at returning emails these days...and even worse at returning phone calls.  Some days, it's all I can manage to brush my teeth.  Other days, I am Miss Productivity...making lists of what we need to get before the twins arrive, ideas for Santa for all three of my babies, knocking it out of the park at work, keeping this house with 5 inhabitants picked up (yes - there are 5 of us already - me, Rob, Molly, Sidda and Buffett).  Today...um...not so much.  Ah...tomorrow is another day.  I'm waiting for the 2nd trimester burst of energy...if you see it going by my house on the street, will you please point it in my direction? Thanks!

So, lately, Miss Molly Kate is just growing up right before my eyes.  I swear, if life had a slow motion button, I could literally see that baby girl getting taller.  I think I've said it before...but, I'm a bit neurotic, and I check on her every single night before going to bed.  I go into her room, rub her forehead or back or belly or booty - what ever I get to :) - make sure she's breathing, not running a fever and that her diaper hasn't leaked.  I tell her how much I love her and who will be "coming to play with her tomorrow" (either Nanna or Marie Claude - her two main caregivers while I am working).  Molly is communicating verbally more and more everyday. Here are some words she has currently mastered:
MOO
Mama
Dada
Pop
Brooke
Nanna
SHOE (we LOVE shoes)
Duck
Pool
Bye
Hot
Hat
Oww (like something hurts)
Jeff (Rob's brother)

She also has several "modified" words, but we know what she means!

Thank you - I can't even spell how it sounds...I've got to get it on video...it's likely one of the sweetest words ever :)
oww - for Meow like a cat
SSsssi - for Sidda, our lab.  She actually just calls every dog SSsssi...

She's working on Clo Clo for Marie Claude, Annie...pretty much anything we say.  It's absolutely adorable.  However, we still do a lot of pointing and eehhh eehhh - ing.  Also, she's learned how to "pretend sleep".  She lays down and snores.  Absolutely adorable.  The girl has got some personality!

We gave up the bottle on Saturday - July, 2nd.  She isn't really digging milk from a sippy, so, it's been a week of a lot of cheese and yogurt.  However, tonight at dinner, she drank a lot of milk from a cup with a straw.  Then, we went to target and got some new sippys that I am only going to put milk in.  This way, she knows what beverage she can expect with each cup.  She typically gives you this look like, "What the hell is this?  I was expecting water" when she gets milk in her regular sippys.  We will see how it goes.  I am NOT going back to the bottle after this, though.  She'll learn to drink her milk - Mommy has a stronger will than she does!

So, yesterday, my sister and parents kept Molly at my sister's house while we went to the doctors.  Emma, my oldest niece, was so thrilled that the twins are a boy and a girl.  She can't wait to "wrestle" with a boy...NO IDEA where that idea came from...So, we were eating a snack and talking (Emma is my girl...we had 5 years of just us, so we are very close).  This was our conversation:

"Tata...can cousins get married?"
"No, baby.  That's called incest."
Emma - very confused look..."Oh."
Me: "But, cousins can be very best friends."
"Ok, then.  That will work.  Me and the baby boy are going to be best friends then."

I mean, really?  She loves me so much, that she already wants to marry my unborn son.  That girl...she melts my heart.  (Did I also mention that recently she's taken to sleeping with a picture of us?  O.M.G.    The girl loves me...and she gets it back two fold!).

The pictures from yesterday's ultrasound weren't that great.  Hopefully, next month we will have some scan worthy photos of the two little monsters!  I am so very thankful that my baby girl is healthy...and that these two gifts from God are growing on schedule and appear to be healthy, too.  We are truly blessed beyond belief.

Who needs green or yellow?

When you can have pink and blue?!

Seeing Double

I have been completely missing in action.  I have a good excuse, promise.

On April 4th - we saw two beautiful embryos.

On April 10th we saw this...

 On April 28th we saw these gorgeous babies and healthy heartbeats...

 It's all been exhausting...

 On Sunday I saw these two beauties leaving the grocery store...

Everything seems to be coming at me in two's lately!  That's right...TWINS!  We are so thrilled, overwhelmed, blessed beyond belief.

In the meantime, we've been to the beach twice (doubles :)), celebrated Brooke's birthday and learned about you&tube...

My cup runneth over...

Why was blogger down?

What was up with blogger being down last week?!  Don't they know we have important life events happening and we need to write them down?  I had a sad post to write, so I did, and I cried, and I felt better.  But, I do want to post it on the blog for my forever memory.  I knew losing Dr. Kort would make me sad, I guess I just didn't expect that his loss would have such an impact on my life.  But, now, I think - well, of course.  He saved me...he brought us Molly.  Of course it will impact my life forever...

Written May 12, 2011:
My girlfriend recently wrote a post about her son’s up-coming first birthday. She said, ‘It's so mind blowing to me how much my world has been turned upside-down and right-side-up again in just 365 days. I am truly complete now.’ She frequently brings me to tears with her eloquent and straight to the heart writing.

This week has been an emotional week with the loss of Dr. Kort. I went with a friend (and patient of his) to the funeral on Monday. It was a beautiful tribute to him, a beautiful service and a wonderful turn out of people whose lives he touched. He is responsible for over 10,000 babies in this world. What a legacy! His sons, wife, friend and Rabbi spoke at the service. Each were so eloquent and heartfelt. Each were clearly as heartbroken about his loss as the next. I wept openly and without shame. Within one year of meeting Dr. Kort, he saved me. He saved me from the angry, unhappy, unbearable person I was becoming from the total devastation of my infertile diagnosis. He saved my marriage from the depths of depression that we were suffering. With the hand of God, he created our wonderful, perfect, heaven on earth miracle, and saved us from a journey that dictated, by that point, half of our marriage.

I wonder how many families Dr. Kort saved. How many families he created. How many lives he fulfilled. He not only saved, created and fulfilled my family, but that of my parents, my in-laws, my sister’s family, our extended families. He saved us all from the sadness of what had become our reality. He made us complete.
‘It's so mind blowing to me how much my world has been turned upside-down and right-side-up again... I am truly complete now.’

A Great Loss for All

As I sat feeding my little miracle breakfast this morning, I learned of some very sad news.  As many of you know, it took a very long 30 months for Rob and I to get pregnant.  After spending a year with a group of doctors in Atlanta, my friend recommended another doctor in Atlanta.  Rob and I met with him in the fall of 2008.  We were in love.  From the beginning, I called him my Knight in Shining armor.  I knew he would bring us the miracle we were praying for.  The next June, we were successful in our attempts to conceive with Dr. Kort.  With all my heart, I do not think we would have made it through infertility without him.  His bedside manner was the kindest, most compassionate, most genuine of any doctor I've ever encountered. 

Words cannot do him justice.  Words cannot express my deep sadness for the loss of this wonderful man.  The world lost a very wonderful man yesterday, May 6, 2011. 

Please keep Dr. Kort, his family and the family of RBA in your prayers.

*********************************************************************************
Dr. Kort,

Without you my life would be so very different.  I look at Molly every single day and thank God for this blessing and miracle in my life.  Each night before I go to bed, I look at her and praise my many blessings.  Without you, I would not have this little angel in my life.  You helped Rob and I through some of the darkest days of our lives, and you did it with such compassion and genuine care.  You are a fixture in our family, a person whom everyone knows and loves, if they only know you by name.    I can never express my appreciation for you...

May you rest in peace and know that you will be greatly missed.

Much love,
Tara, Rob and Molly

Where did April go?

Wow - time flies when you are having fun :)  I can't believe May is here already.  Before you know it...it will be fall again and time for football, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas!  I never believed people when they told me how quickly time passes when you have a child.  I just want to bottle up my baby girl and keep her little for much longer than she's going to be my baby!  She is just such a grown up already...

We spent a weekend at the lake with Uncle Jeff and Ann...Molly loved it!  She loves the water, being outside...and of course, driving the boat!

Molly and I went to our neighborhood Easter Egg hunt.  She had a great time..and found 1 egg and was super pleased with herself.  Hey, we had to leave enough for the other kids, right??

We also celebrated Easter with my parents, aunt and uncle, cousin and wife, and Mandie and her family...